A Glorious Tribute to all Countries, but mostly America

We’re back from vacation (of course) and Christmas is over (double of course), and I am back to work this week (balls).

Can I complain about my health insurance for a minute?

I pay about $200 each pay period for health insurance, that is $400 a month to cover myself, Dave and the two kids. Then, every time we go to the doctor, it costs a $15-20 co-pay for the office visit and if there is any medical procedure that needs to be performed, that isn’t covered until we satisfy the annual deductible (which is $1500 per person or $4500 for the family if we go to doctors that are in their network. If we go to doctors that are out of the network then the deductible goes up to $2500 and $7500). Beyond that, prescription coverage is really hard to figure out because they have this really complicated chart that divides drugs into “tiers” and then assigns the percentage of coverage based on the tier the drug falls into and also takes into account if there is a generic version available. If there is a generic, you have to get that or they won’t cover it at all.

I think our plan is considered to be one of the better plans. I work for a large global corporation and I think the payroll deduction is also on the lower end of things.

Thankfully, we are a pretty healthy family. But just to give you a taste, Dave had a little cyst that had to be removed and biopsied this year. He was at the doctor’s office a total of approximately 30 minutes. The actual procedure took about 10 minutes from the time they numbed it to the time they stitched it. That cost me over $300 because I had to pay the doctor for the procedure, the office visit co-pay and then I had to pay for the lab to perform the biopsy.

As I said, we are, thankfully, a pretty healthy family, so the doctor’s visits are pretty minimal. We really don’t go to the doctor much (like probably 1-2 visits each per year and those are mostly well visits). However, I’m sure I have mentioned before that I am a lifetime insomniac. I have tried everything from meditation to medication for this and it has always been a struggle. And with the stress work has been giving me, it has gotten so much worse. I have a hard time falling asleep (if I fall asleep an hour after I get in bed, that is pretty good) and when I do fall asleep I wake up about every hour to hour and a half. I have tried a couple of different medications and they work for a while and then stop. Until I started taking Ambien CR. That has worked consistently for a couple years now. I only take it during the week, and I don’t abuse it. I have never taken more than one pill in a 24 hour period. I fall asleep when I get in bed and usually stay asleep until at least 3am, sometimes even later. It is the best I have slept in years and it costs me about $40-50 a month for the prescription. That is a 30 day supply and I can stretch it to last me at least 6 weeks or more.

So can I live without Ambien? Yes. But it sure has taken one stress out of my life.

My company held their open enrollment in October (where you choose your health plan for the next year). This is also the time when you can decide if you want to contribute to the health care spending account (money held from your paycheck pre-taxed that you can use for health care related expenses). I opted not to use the spending account this year because, as I said, we don’t go to the dr much and it is a pain to track.

So last week I got a letter from the insurance company that they are no longer covering Ambien CR. There is no generic version so if I want to continue taking it, I have to pay cash. I looked around and I don’t think I can get a 30 day supply for less than $160ish. Kiss my ass.

So I pay every paycheck for my health insurance that I pretty much never have a claim against and then the one thing I do use it for and they decide they just aren’t going to cover it anymore. It really pisses me off. If I had known they were going to do that, I would have looked in the changing to a high deductible plan because we really just need to be covered if something catastrophic happens, I’m paying out of my pocket for everything else anyway. Or, I would have at least put some money in the spending account for it, but it is too late now.

Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate that I have insurance and will be covered if one of us gets really sick, but gees, what if one of us does get really sick and then the insurance company decides that they don’t want to cover the prescribed treatment? I guess that is their choice and they can do whatever they want.

Other things they don’t cover: Fertility treatments of any sort and counseling. So basically anything I might want to utilize.

But hey, if I gain 150 lbs, become a diabetic and start abusing alcohol and drugs, well, all those treatments are covered. So I guess I just have the wrong ailments.

We are leaving in two days and I am having massive trouble applying myself to the things I need to finish before we go. (Like work)

I was super ambitious this weekend and made Becca clean up her pigsty room (which was so full of stuff that we were considering making her watch an episode of Hoarders). I also made her try on all her clothes and managed to glean a huge bag clothes that don’t fit her to be donated to the Salvation Army. I also gleaned two bags of trash. Dave commented that he could not believe I got that much stuff out of there especially since it has been only about 6 months since the last time I did this. The amount of stuff my MIL buys for the kids borders on obscene. I think she has resorted to keeping some of it at her house so that I don’t know it exists. I have become pretty ruthless about it. If she buys something for the kids that is unsanctioned, I will take it to the goodwill. Or, for every 1 new item that comes into our house, I make Becca choose 2 items to give away (or throw away – it depends on the condition. I am a firm believer that the goodwill is not a place to unload your trash).

Anyway, in the course of all the room cleaning, I also managed to get Becca mostly packed. I just will need to do a couple loads of laundry before we go.

My stuff is half packed, which isn’t half bad for me. I am trying to avoid being up until 2 am the night before we go although I don’t know if that is possible. One thing I did do was locate the chargers to both cameras and charge them. If you recall, when Dave and I went to Arizona last spring, I waited until the night before we left to figure out that the camera battery was dead and I could not find the charger to save my life. Therefore, we did not take my nice camera and I had to buy a point and click while we were there. So this time I am lugging the nice camera and the little point and click because, as I mentioned previously, I am an overpacker. I have also decided to take the portable DVD player (even though my husband has advised against it) because my just in case mentality has caused me to consider the possibility that it is winter and it is very possible we may encounter delays flying back to the winter wonderland that is Michigan. Hey, I’m not being negative, this is a genuine possibility and I want to be prepared because I cannot handle the endless strings of “I’m bored” that would surely ensue should we encounter even a 2 hour delay. It is worth it to me to lug the DVD player. Does anyone other than my husband have a problem with that?

I didn’t think so.

I still have a list of things to buy at Meijer. Including protein bars so we don’t have to buy breakfast every day, individually wrapped butt wipes (did you know they make those?) which Meijer has been out of the last 3 times I have been there, and toothbrushes because 3 of the 4 occupants in my house use electric toothbrushes which I am decidedly not lugging with us.

I also still have not managed to squeeze in the pedi. I might have to ped-egg myself instead.

Oh and I just remembered, I need a DVD holder because I have nothing to house the DVD’s in other than their bulky plastic cases which will not do. I may be an overpacker, but I still know how to maximize space.

Meandering

Today was an 8 snooze morning. Yes, I said 8 snoozes. It might have even been 9. I did not want to get up. I don’t understand how you peeps who work outside the home and who have little babies in the house that are waking you up for nighttime feedings make it to work. Ever. I don’t have babies waking me up and I am still considering cutting my hair off to make my mornings easier.

Also, I have a big zit on the side of my nose, you know that place where your know meets your face? It hurts and it’s ugly.

Also, We are leaving for Disney World in 9 days and I cannot wait. Must. Have. vacation.

We have a busy busy weekend and I wish we didn’t have any plans. Friday night is Dave’s work party which is an hour from our house. Saturday I have to finish my Christmas shopping because we are leaving the following Saturday and we get back the Sunday before Christmas which leaves me no time. Sunday is my mom’s birthday and we are supposed to be going out to dinner. Somewhere in there I would like to squeeze in a pedicure and I need to finish as much laundry as possible and start figuring out what clothes we are taking (the weather in Orlando in December is a crapshoot), which suitcase gets assigned to who and who is taking what carryon on the plane. I also have to ask and answer questions such as, “Should we lug the portable DVD player?(It’s only a 2 hour flight)” “Should I lug my laptop?” “How much reading will I really be able to do and what books/magazines should I take?” “How much cash will we need?”

I would also like to mention that I am a notorious overpacker. Especially when it comes to underwear. I think that sometime in my past I must have been caught somewhere with no clean underwear because I absolutely must pack enough underwear so I can wear 3 clean pairs a day if needed. Does anyone else do this or is this another example of how I am a freak?

Ouch, I just accidentally scratched that heinous zit on the side of my face for, like, the 16th time today. Ouch.

Christmas, Fruit Cake and All That Stuff

I put the tree up today. I was totally not feeling in the holiday spirit and I really didn't want to put the tree up, but with kids in the house, I feel that would be a terrible thing not to decorate the house. It didn't take me long to get into the spirit once I started unwrapping the ornaments.

Every year I buy each person in the family an ornament that symbolizes something about them. Also each year, we take the kids to Bronners in Frankenmuth and let them each pick out an ornament. These ornaments become property of the recipient and he or she gets to hang them on the tree each year. I figure by the time the kids are out of high school I will have to have a much bigger tree or two trees!

Today I was smiling and remembering the stories attached to each ornament. Where did I buy it, what does it mean, etc....

With all the Christmas memories I started thinking about fruit cake and my grandma (my mom's mom). She used to bake, a lot. And fruit cake was one of her specialties. So if you've ever made fruitcake, you know that the candied fruit that is the main ingredient, is pretty expensive. Well, when my grandma passed away my mom got all of her recipes and when she sorted through them she found 6 or 7 different recipes for my grandma's fruitcake. Each one progressively called for more fruit until the last recipe that was almost all fruit. Apparently as she got more money, she would increase the amount of fruit.

I find that story so charming and I was thinking about it today so I thought I share it with all of you. What Christmas memories are you thinking about while you unwrap your decorations?

A Bright Spot

Today I got to surprise a few of my employees with end of the year bonuses that were somewhat unexpected. Finally I got to call someone into an office and give them some good news. It made me smile and I haven't been doing much of that around here lately.

Creepy Restaurant Guy Goes to Jail

My first date with Dave was on Valentine's Day. It just so happened I did not have any plans that Valentine's Day (not actually so out of the ordinary) and he did not even realize it was Valentine's Day when he asked me out. I had been meaning to e-mail my friend "the Roach" and ask him if he wanted to have a poor me I'm single and alone friends night out, but had not ever gotten around to it. I won't go into all the details of the actual asking me out part and how I was planning to say no, no, no but ended up saying yes because that isn't what this post is about.

This post is about the restaurant we went to that first date night of ours. The date wasn't very well planned. We didn't make reservations or anything, he just showed up at my house and we decided to try Outback. The wait at Outback was 3 hours. No kidding. Forget that. So then we were stuck wondering if we were going to have to eat McDonald's and I was struck with a brilliant idea. There was a greasy spoon Mexican dive down the road that had fabulous Mexican food and never a wait. So I suggested it. And Dave thought I was kidding because he used to go to greasy spoon type places with his dad all the time. I guess his dad always refused to eat a chain restaurants. And he fell in love with me right then and there. Okay, again, not the point of the post. We went to the Mexican restaurant and got seated right away, had a wonderful meal with outstanding conversation over which Dave fell in love with me. Okay, I'm kidding. Sort of. But we did always sort of think of it as the place where our relationship started. So to commemorate our love, every year on Valentine's Day, we would go to that Mexican restaurant for dinner. Did I mention they have the best margaritas in town?

But, as the years ticked by (and we were going there a couple times a year), the place started getting kind of gross (sorry no other way to put it). The building had never been all that nice, but the staff and the food started not to be all that nice either and when those start going, you start noticing what a craphole the building is. There was one corner of the place that was actually on a slant. Again, that would be charming if the place had good food. The two servers that had always been there disappeared and the frozen margaritas started having big lumps of ice in them that would clog my straw. It was sad and we kept trying it hoping they would shape up. We were pretty sure the place had changed hands.

So one night probably over a year ago, was the last time we ate there. And the person waiting on us was this strange man who claimed to be the owner and was complaining that all of his servers had called in and he had to wait the tables even though his son's wife had had a baby earlier that day. The food wasn't that great and we decided it was finally time to say good bye to the site of our first love.

Last week we drove by the place and there was a sign out front stating that you could get 10% off your bill if you pay cash for your food. I remarked that it probably wouldn't be long before they would be out of business.

Fast forward to last night when I was reading the local news and I looked at this little blurb with a mugshot of a man in an orange jumpsuit. He looked oddly familiar. And the light went on. Guess who? Yep, the owner of the Mexican restaurant. Ha. He's being charged with the following crimes. #1 For filing a false report about a local police officer shoplifting #2 For selling liquor after his liquor license had been suspended and failing to post notification that his liquor license had been suspended and #3 (this is the best/worst one) for installing a camera in the office at the restaurant and spying on a female employee while she changed. I knew there was something creepy about that guy.

I'm going to be even more scarce than usual this week. I am being forced into a prep class for a certification I don't even want but have been told I must have giving me yet another reason to hate my job.

The class is Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday. 8am to 5pm and I have been told to expect 3-4 hours of homework a night.

Then Friday I have to spend 8 hours in another meeting learning how to do a spreadsheet. (I'm serious)

So I'm really looking forward to this week being over. But then I think, I don't want to be wishing my life away and I feel like I have been doing that a lot lately.

Why you should not blog while on Ambien

How did my blog become pink? I do not remember doing this.

I Should

Exercise everyday
Read more books
Give more money and time to charity
Call my brothers more often
Stop being afraid
Never waste time
Sleep more
Sleep less
Travel more
Travel less
Be gracious
Focus on my blessings
Get a mani and pedi at least once a month
Complain less
Smile more
Budget better
Learn something new
Run a mile
Be confident
Give 110% at work and at home 100% of the time (okay lets shoot for 98% of the time)
Go skydiving
Have a martini (right now...it's 8am)
Pay off my debt
Be happy
Write a book, write a short story, write a poem, for God's sake write something!
Bake a cheesecake
Clean out my closet
Dance
Sing
Adapt
Contribute

The Whole Truth (the quick version)

Fact: I am in a hotel by myself in Columbus, OH.

Fact: This is not a pleasure trip.

Fact: I don't like sleeping away from my man. Gag if you want, but I hate it.

Fact: I got a "friend suggestion" from one of my facebook friends and the suggestion is a person who made my life a living hell in junior high. Maybe living hell is an understatement, but it's the best I can come up with right now. I am 33 (and 3/4 but lets leave that for another post) and if I am going to a place that I know this person will be at, I break out in hives. I'm serious. I am still deeply disturbed by how this person treated me and I believe that there are portions of my personality that exist today, solely because of those events.

Fact: I ignored the friend suggestion and I hope the person in question has the good sense not to send me a request herself.

Question: Am I seriously disturbed?

TMI

I don't really like prunes, but sometimes I eat them anyway. If.you.know.what.I.mean.

I realize this might fall into the category of too much information, but I'm sorry. I just ate some and they are kind of gross and I felt I needed to share.

Dish Therapy

I'm in a rut and I desperately need to pull myself out. I spend too much time at work and not enough time at home and the time I do spend at home feels very unproductive (and now that I mention it, the time at work also feels unproductive). It seems like I'm always just "calling it in." I feel run down and I don't have a lot of energy. I'm not exercising at all, have all but totally abandoned yoga, we've been eating out way too much and my sugar intake has spiked again. I feel like I spend every week just trying to get to the weekend and then every weekend trying to catch up to start another week (which I never do get caught up). For the most part, I stay on top of the laundry, no one can complain that they ever run out of underwear. I hired someone to clean the house about a year ago which was one of the best decisions I ever made, so the house stays pretty clean, but I still have to straighten. However, I never get to much else beyond the basics. Meaning, the drawers and closets never get cleaned out. So the house looks relatively tidy on the surface, but if you look in the closets, under the beds, etc., it is a cluttery mess. I know if I force myself to attend a couple yoga classes and watch what I eat for a couple days, that will help tremendously. I just need to find the will to do it.

But enough of my depressing doom and gloom. Let's talk about dishes.

Yes. Dishes.

I have spoken before of my love of bowls and platters and the like. The dishes I registered for when I got married were the exact same dishes I had in my condo when I was single, just in a different color. Fiestaware. From God. I went from cobalt blue and some sort of maroon (I can't remember the name now) to scarlet red. I love red, it is so bright and cheery and so versatile. There are a thousand different shades of red.

About a year ago, I decided we needed cereal bowls because the bowls that come in the 5 piece fiestaware setting are too shallow and we always spill milk from them. I wanted some nice deep bowls for cereal. So, one day, while fooling myself into thinking that I am frugal, I purchased some cheap red bowls from Kohl's for a couple bucks a piece. They were almost exactly the same color as my fiestaware so I told myself they would do. It turns out when chipped, these bowls are white underneath. A white chip really stands out on a bright red bowl. I don't know if the fiestaware is white underneath too because none of them have ever chipped. The kids are hard on my dishes and these cheap bowls are getting more and more chipped as the days go by.

A couple weekends ago I found myself back at Kohl's and what do you know, Fiestaware is on sale. 40% off Yes! Just the excuse I need to rid myself forever from my cheap chipped bowls. I loaded up the cart with 6 beautiful deep scarlet red 24oz Fiestawarebowls and I bought them.

And I started to think, of course this was after my credit card swiped through the machine. Why am I buying all red? Fiestaware comes in a rainbow of gorgeous and bright colors. Why just stick with scarlet red? So I left the bowls in my car and last weekend I went back to Kohl's and exchanged some of the red ones for other colors. Yellow, blue, teal and red. I have a rainbow in my kitchen and they make me feel happier every time I open my cupboard and see them in there.

Now I'm thinking how that yellow in a dinner plate would look like the sun just sitting there on my table........

In the Wee Small Hours of the Morning

Okay, it isn't technically the "wee small hours", it is 10 am, but it's Saturday and it is wee small enough for me.

Dave is in the basement running on the treadmill, the kids are at their mom's house and I am sitting in the living room with my laptop and a cup of coffee and near total silence.

It is bliss.

I was supposed to be in NJ this weekend visiting my lifelong pal and soaking up some much needed baby love, but I'm trying not to think about that.

We did the Asian food last night and it was somewhat of a disappointment. I don't really have much to say about it except for one tiny tidbit. We both ordered soup. I ordered hot and sour and Dave ordered miso (sick, I hate miso). When the waitress came with our spring rolls she only brought my hot and sour and then bolted before we even had a chance to say anything. We got her attention a minute later and I said, "he ordered miso" and she looked at me for a second and then said, "Yeah, I know" and walked away again. It wasn't like a snotty "I know" it was bizarre. So she came back a couple minutes later with his miso. It was very twilight zone-y.

(Val, the pad thai was not as good as my West Bloomfield restaurant. I still need to get over there.)

So that was that.

I love the weekend.

The Block

Ugh, I am so boring lately. I have nothing interesting to say, but maybe if I post something it will break the block.

So I'm just checking in with a few random thoughts.

#1 Teenage boys are gross.

#2 Becca got sick, but I don't think it was the swine flu.

#3 What is this weather? What a crap fest.

#4 We are trying a new Asian restaurant. I hope it is good.

#5 I am so glad we got a dog. I love my dog.

#6 My dryer if finally fixed and I can catch up on the laundry.

#7 Becca is watching The Little Mermaid right now and I am remembering how much I love that movie.

#8 I actually cooked this week and it was bang up good. I adapted a Rachael Ray recipe for bolognese and everyone loved it. That made me feel good. I'm a domestic goddess. Sort of.

all the news that's fit to print

Today I did something I should have done last Friday and took the day off. It has been increasingly hard for me to get out of bed and make myself go through the morning ritual. I am becoming much too familiar with my snooze button than is appropriate and yesterday I some things slide that I really shouldn't. I could tell if I did not do this that I would be coming down with a terrible cold or flu very soon.

Usually, I try not to take days off when the kids have school because I still have to get up to prod them along, but today I did not care. I slept in until 7 which was good enough for me and I dozed off while watching Paula Deen so I missed her making chocolate bread pudding and woke up just in time to see her taking it out of the oven. Oh well, I don't usually make her recipes because she uses too much butter.

In other news, I am still not a fan of my job and now that the horrifying reality of what happened last week is starting to sink in and the shock is starting to wear off, I have realized that #1 I have gotten very little done in the last 6 days, and #2 WTF am I going to do without the people I had to let go? I have fielded several employee phone calls asking my why/how did I choose and various variations of that question. Everyone is worried about their own jobs and their workload, myself included.

I'm supposed to be going to visit Mandy (you have to call her Miranda) next weekend and in a cruel twist of fate flights to that side of the country have skyrocketed and now I don't know if I am going to be able to go. That makes me mad.

I am very unsure of my new boss. He does not work out of my office and is in fact 4 hours away. I can't get a read on him. I feel inadequate as the lone woman in a group of all men (I'm not kidding - I am the only woman) and on the other hand that makes me feel quite proud of myself. The youngest person on the team, the only woman, and with a liberal arts education and English/Writing in a group of engineers. What am I doing? I am a chameleon, that's what I am.

I have been watching Food Network a lot lately as it suddenly occurred to me that we have a DVR that is only ever used to record endless episodes of South Park and various History Channel specials. I am a food nerd and I love Iron Chef America. Since it is on at 10, I never watch it. So I've been recording it and watching it at my leisure. It makes me a little sad. I wanted to be chef. I wanted to go to culinary school and I think I would have made a fine chef and that quite possibly that may have been a profession I could get excited about. I'm not a big one for regrets, but this is a regret that frequently crosses my mind (more now than ever before). People say, "do it now" but I don't know if I would have the heart now. Perhaps I would. Who knows?

Last Week

Last week. Last week I had to tell three of my employees that they no longer have a job(one of whom has a pregnant wife at home). Last week I had to walk 3 people to the door with a box full of their belongings. Last week my boss lost his job.

I don't think I have to tell you that last week was total crap.

And I think if I continue to talk about any of this that you will never want to come back to my blog again.

So I am going to stop talking about this even though it has consumed me for the last 7 days.

Tomorrow I will try to share something better than this.

Why do I bother?

So tonight I made the sesame noodles from Pioneer Woman's website. They sounded so good - in fact I wanted to make them last night but Meijer was out of green onions so I waited for tonight.

Yuk. So not good. So not what I was anticipating. Just.not.good. Plus I bought the chili oil, the rice vinegar and the sesame oil just for this recipe. So that is $10 bucks down the drain and lets be honest, all those ingredients will just sit in my pantry for years and I will probably never use them again.

Anyway, the kids were kind and ate the noodles and said they were good, but I think they were just being polite.

I blame this all on the fact that there is no good Thai restaurants anywhere near my house or my office and it is making me think about and crave noodles all the time. So now I have eaten and should be full but I want to graze for something enjoyable.

Two dinners, not on my diet!

Bacon Cupcakes

Last night I successfully gained control of the TV clicker and got to watch a few precious minutes of the Food Network (which if I did not work I'm sure I would watch all day long but that is another story!). So I was watching Unwrapped and Dave was reading a book (Learned Optimism - great book if you are looking to improve your outlook on life). So guess what the guy from Double Dare was talking about on Unwrapped last night? Bacon. And Dave loves him some bacon. Did you know there is a Bacon of the Month club? Oh yes, there is.

And guess who now wants to join it?

My Life in Fast Forward

First of all, something smells in my house and I can't figure out what it is and it is pissing me off. It smells like old toilet water or something. In the past I have traced such a smell to Dave's boots after he has been testing standpipes and the stinky stagnant water has splashed on them.

But the boots have passed muster this time.

So, this is how I have spent my Friday night. Washed the kitchen floor (even though I just got the house cleaned last week), wiped the entire kitchen down with Pine Sol, vacuumed the living room carpet, lit 26 candles, moved my Bath and Body Works plug-in to a plug closer to the kitchen (maybe the plug it was in isn't working), and cried.

I have been cursed with an over developed sense of smell (if you have spent 5 minutes with me you already know this). Smells bug me and I am paranoid of my house being stinky. AHHHHH!

Anyway, I finally had to give up. The only other thing I could do is take all the kitchen chairs out of the kitchen and wash the area rug that is under the kitchen table. I am not doing that tonight.

Okay, so now on to what I really wanted to post about.

The 14 year old living in my house. Dave and I have been married for just over 3 years, so that is how long the kids have been living with me and I feel like I have done this motherhood thing in fast forward with no time to get used to anything. It's a whirlwind.

We got married in the month of June and I have to tell you that I was pretty much stunned the first year. They were 11 and 6. And I was not prepared for the whole school thing. Planning lunches, making sure clothes were clean, homework done, dinner planned, who needs art supplies for a project they forgot to tell me about until the night before, etc.... It was so overwhelming I didn't even have time to process how overwhelming it was. And I wasn't very good at it. I missed orientations, conferences, forgot to sign papers and send them back. The kids were lucky I sent in the order forms for their school pictures or washed their underwear before they had to turn them inside out and wear them twice. I was working full time at work and at home and that first year, quite honestly, is a blur. I don't know how I did it.

So fast forward 3 years and while I am much better at juggling and planning with the school stuff, I have made peace (mostly) with the fact that I am not going to be supermom who goes to the PTO meetings and bakes cupcakes for them to take for their class on birthdays, I at least feel like I am somewhat keeping up.

But Sam, now a teenager and freshman, has started going to football games on Friday night and he wants to go into town with his friends to hang out and now just this past Wednesday has informed us that he is going to the homecoming dance tomorrow night with a date. And I find myself with very mixed feelings about this. But not the ones you would think. I'm right back to not knowing how to balance these new developments and feeling a little resentful that I have to.

I feel like I got thrown into this mother thing (which I suppose I did) and it has snowballed. I feel like I'm too young to have a teenager, even though biologically I am not. I feel resentful that these things are somehow my responsibility and that their mother lives an hour away and gets to deal with what she feels like dealing with and nothing more. I feel like I missed out on a big chunk of what should have been a fun part of raising kids, the sweet baby stage etc and I chastise myself for feeling this way because I knew what I was getting into (well I thought I understood what I was getting into, but how can one understand what one does not have any freaking clue about?)

I'm tired tonight. We had another crazy busy week and the kids mother hasn't taken them for the last two weekends so I have had no break and I wonder if human beings were meant to operate at this pace and I wonder if, for all my complaining about how busy I am, that I would complain I was bored if suddenly I wasn't flying at mach speed all the time.

Does any of this rambling even make any sense? I don't feel like I am articulating what I am reallly feeling.

Complainy McComplainerson

Have you ever heard the saying "10% of the people do 90% of the work"? I feel like that is me lately. It seems like, at my company, the reward for being a hard worker and gettin it done is more work. Yay! My husband once said to me that it is important to manage your employees and make sure you are holding everyone accountable because it is very bad for morale to pile on your performers and allow others to be slackers. This concept is really being driven home with me right now because that is what is happening to me. I almost cried in front of my boss this morning (a huge no no) and had to bite on my tongue until it bled to make myself stop. It was the closest I have ever come to crying in front of him.

In other news, my husband has contracted my cold and in an attempt to ward it off has been eating whole raw garlic cloves. Do I really need to say anymore about that?

I Still Love My Life

Today was busy. I left the house at 6:30 am to get to work to prep for a meeting that I had at 8:30. The meeting was high intensity for me and when I get nervous I tend to tick. Today my tick was that I was obsessively sucking water out of my 24 ounce sport bottle. You can guess how that meeting ended, right? Me doing a mental pee pee dance and not being able to concentrate on a thing that was being said.

I left work "early" at 3:30 to drive home and grab Dave and the kids (at 4:30) so we could hit the Goodwill sale at Elder Beerman because Dave has lost so much weight that his pants are falling off of him and he had to get some pants. Then we went directly to the open house at Sam's school (this is his first year of high school). The open house consisted of 7 minute "mini classes" at each class. I think this is meant to simulate your child's high school experience but instead reminded me of why I hated high school so very very much. Suddenly I felt like a 14 year old girl again. I'm pretty sure a couple pimples popped out on my face while we were there. Anyway, since the school is so bad at communicating and did not send any details on said "open house", I mistakenly assumed that the open house that was scheduled from 6-8 would be an "open house" and we could wander from class to class and meet Sam's teachers at our leisure and be out of there in an hour or less. But instead we had to follow his schedule. 7 minute classes with 10 minutes in between which meant we would not have actually been out of there until almost 8:00 on the dot. Well, we also had the 9 year old with us who hadn't quite finished her math homework and none of us had eaten dinner. So we skipped his last two classes and decided to try this new restaurant in town that has billed itself as Thai/Chinese. Since there isn't a decent Thai place anywhere near us that I have found, I was excited.

It's not Thai people. It's a Chinese place that threw a couple sort of like Thai dishes on it's menu. I was very disappointed but seeing as how it was already 8:00, we had to make due. I begrudgingly picked something else. Then the food came in waves, each persons dish came separately and mine was about 10-12 minutes behind the first dish. All the while I am looking at my watch cursing the lost evening.

So we came home, I hurried up and put on my pajamas and snuggled into the couch to check my e-mails and update my blog and about 5 minutes after my butt hit the pillow, I caught a whiff of something that made me want to barf. A yet unidentified animal (which one the dog or the cat? There is now way to be sure it could have been either one) had desecrated my couch cushion with either puke or poop, I could not be sure which it was and it was on the back of the cushion THAT I WAS SITTING AGAINST, between the cushion and the back of the couch.

So, it's jump up, scream, curse, cry a little, strip the cover off of the cushion and throw it in the washer, dig the green machine out of the basement and start cleaning the part of the couch that cannot go in the washing machine, cry some more and thank God that tomorrow is not the day I get the house cleaned.

What more can I say?

I Have a Confession to Make

I make up songs about my dog and sing them to him. It's true and I feel better now that I have confessed to it and you all know that I am insane.

Living with a Teenager

The summer Dave and I got married, we splurged on a new computer because he didn't have one and the one I had was a pos. It was a really nice computer, we researched, okay he researched it and we shopped around ultimately finding and buying the computer of our dreams at none other than Wal-Mart. It was a nice little deal we scored. Anyway, this past June we were married three years, and we still have that computer. In fact, I am typing away on it right now. [Sidebar: so afraid am I of getting canned or something that I will not type posts on my work laptop anymore, which was part of the lack of posting this summer.]

But something has happened to it. Something being a certain teenager who I shall refer to as Napoleon. Napoleon is a typical American Teenager who values nothing but that which pleases him at the moment. And usually what pleases him at the moment has something to do with a video game of some sort or YouTube. So at whatever moment the feeling strikes Napoleon, he will just go ahead and download "it". Once in the past, this led to what I like to refer to as "The Great Porn Incident of 2008" which is where our computer crashed and Dave had to go through the process of cleaning off the hard drive during which he came across all sorts of stunning porn in our browsers history which then led to what I like to refer to as "The Great Sex Talk of 2008". I don't think I blogged about this at the time out of respect for Napoleons privacy and because I was mortified. But it's been a couple years and I was ready to come out about it. Plus he is in the kitchen eating me out of house and home right now and I'm feeling snarky about it.

So anyway, why am I talking about this? Well, after Dave got the computer cleaned off from "The Great Porn Incident" and it has been running okay but it gets slower every week. Apparently World of Warcraft is a rather large program. So today I was going through the hard drive with the intent of looking at some old pictures and I wanted to share with you some of what I found.

This photo was saved under the file name "Do the Dew"

And this one was called "DOWG" (Did I mention that Napoleon went to the Dog the Bounty Hunter book signing and met Dog?Then there was this gem

And then of course, the video games that don't go on the computer must have photos of the cover of them so they are still "in" the computer and don't feel left out. See here:

Ya'll I could go on with these for quite a string. I also found 6 pictures from LOL Cats, 12 photos of kids I don't know, 10 pictures of kids I do know, 4 Metallica Album covers, 18 pictures of the dog in various poses (some with kids I don't know), 3 self portraits, 4 pictures of the cat, and this:

Uh, am I the only one who is concerned about the fact that skinny straight leg jeans are making a comeback this year? F.A. that is all I have to say about myself.

Anyone Still There?

Okay, okay, so I disappeared for a couple months. Sucked into a cesspool of writer's block, apathy, self-loathing and just plain old fashioned laziness.

But alas, school started today. Poop. (Jen that's for you. I'm going to work fart in somehow too, my mom made us call them fluffies when I was growing up, I swear)

So here is my summer in a nutshell and I swear I am getting back on track with this thing. I'm still planning on moving it as soon as I can think of a good new name.

Okay, so we went to Traverse City. I got really drunk one day (on accident) and had to go back to our hotel room and pass out. There are photos (not of me drunk, sorry) but I haven't gotten them off the camera. Perhaps someday I'll share them, but really, probably not.

The kids are fine. Their mother actually took them for a total of 3 solid weeks (not consecutively) this summer. Those breaks were nice and made me question if getting pregnant is really a good idea for me. We'll talk more about that later.

So they (the kids) had a good summer even though I failed to deliver on my promise of a trip to Chicago and the American Girl store. I'm trying to get that lined up for October time frame. We'll see, it is really expensive.

My work still sucks and if possible has begun to suck even more. We have had more layoffs and a total new management overhaul which has left the office in a total tizzy (how the frick do you spell tizzie?). I'm sick of people losing their jobs and worrying about my own job. The atmosphere is crappy and life sucking and makes me question my goals and values in life on a daily basis.

New in our life is my quest to cut refined white sugar out of my diet (why did I buy the econo size of chocolate covered raisins? They are really good and a huge temptation). I'm getting fat, my pants are getting tight and I can't afford new pants. So losing weight is the only option. I'll let you know how that works out. Most people lose weight in the summer, but for some reason I seem to gain in the summer and lose in the fall and winter.

Okay, last thing for tonight. Books from my summer reading list.

#1 best book I read this summer is a must for all my old college buddies and anyone else who was raised in a Bible thumping religious right household. The Unlike Disciple - A Sinners Semester at America's Holiest University. Seriously, read it. It was an easy and quick read. If you do not fall into either of the categories I mentioned above, you may not "get" it though. And, hey, old college buddies, AU, not so bad.

I read some other books this summer, but I can't remember any of the right now. Probably because I am rushing or because I haven't had any refined white sugar today. But I'm back, but Jro, you can still post 80's music lyrics in my comments. I also like Prince, the J Giles Band and Tears for Fears.

Miscellaneous Ramblings

**Last night I came home to find that my dog, left on his own for the day and with his run of the house, had gnawed right through a sealed bag of cat food and helped himself to a midday snack. The weird part is that he did not eat the entire bag. Presumably he ate until he was full. We didn't know he could get full.

**I love Prince. Can you really top Purple Rain and Little Red Corvette? How about Raspberry Beret?

**While watching the coverage of Michael Jackson's death last week the following conversation occurred between me, my not impressed by pop culture husband and my 14 year old stepson.
Dave - "I can't watch anymore of this. Can you please change the channel?"
Me - "You are a history buff, how can you not recognize pop culture as an integral part of American history?"
Sam - "Yeah dad, you have to at least respect Michael Jackson as an artist."
Dave - "Shut up!"

**Does anyone want to go with me to San Francisco for a writing seminar? I'm trying to develop my Plan B, but I'm not a big one for traveling alone.

A Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

Yesterday we had more layoffs at my office, including one of my own employees. So, I had to not only escort one of someone else's employees out the door (who had over 20 years into the company), but I had to tell one of my employees that he does not have a job anymore (who had more than 10 years in at the company and a spouse who has major health issues).

It was a wretched day. I'm still spent and emotional this morning and I want to drown my sorrows in a giant bin of Chubby Hubby, a giant cheeseburger, a giant order of fries and a keg.

I want to cry but every time the tears have started to well up, it has not been the time to cry and I've had to choke it back. Then when I get by myself and it would be appropriate to cry, I can't.

Oh weekend, please come fast.

What do you do?

Question: What do you do when you have a raging caffeine every morning habit and you find yourself sick of coffee?

Answer: Suffer a debilitating headache or drink soda pop which will surely result in the return of adolescent era acne face and cause a 10 lb weight gain.

Question: Why does the thought of coffee make me want to vomit the past week or so? (and I'm not pregnant)

I'm having an identity crisis. Someone please remind me who I am!

I'm NOT Old. Right?

We went to the movies yesterday afternoon and went to the concession stand to get a couple of drinks. Dave ordered an iced tea and I ordered a small Mountain Dew (just a small vice these days. I only drink about 1 every 6 months. That's impressive if you knew me during my 1 every 6 minutes phase in college).

Anyway, the concession stand cashier was probably 16 or 17, I guess. He asked me if instead of my fountain Mountain Dew if I would like to try a Mountain Dew "Throwback". To which I replied, "Huh?"

So this is what he tells me. "Mountain Dew Throwback is a new version of Mountain Dew that is like the "old Mountain Dew" and is sweetened with sugar. It's the same formula they used to use, you know, like, back in the 90's"

Ya'll, I googled Mountain Dew Throwback. It is based on the formula used in the 60's and 70's.

He's right, that is, like, almost the same thing.

I Could be a Dietitian

Becca had her appointment with the Pediatric Cardiologist this morning. Wow, that was quite a production. The appointment was at 8am and we were for three hours.

I have mixed feelings about it. Dave and I and Dave's mom went and Becca's mom met us there. It was a lot of peeps to cram into one exam room!

We saw three different people. First the RN came in to talk to us about the whole situation. She went over Becca's lab results from the blood test and asked us tons of questions about her diet and her level of activity. We were probably with her for about an hour.

After that, the dietician came in. She asked us some more questions about Becca's diet and then basically just went over the food wheel with us. To be honest with you (and not to sound arrogant) but she really didn't tell me much that I didn't already know. She didn't give us a prescribed diet plan, she just wrote down how many servings of each food group that we should be giving Becca and made some recommendations about certain foods. For instance, she told us that we should only be drinking low fat milk, yogurt and cheese. We already do that. Well, except for the cheese. I buy regular fat cheese for myself because I am a princess and I don't like low fat cheese, but have been buying 2% cheese for Becca for a while now. She eats it with no complaints. (Sidebar: Kraft makes 2% cheddar slices that are one serving individually wrapped which are actually quite tasty.)

After the dietitian was finished we saw the doctor. We had already decided before she came in that if she was told us that we needed to put Becca on medication that we were going to refuse. All three of us were in agreement on that. But she did no recommend medication, so it was a non-issue. She said she felt confident that we can fix this with diet and exercise. Which I would say I agree with.

And that was it. We have to go back in January. They will check her blood again then and we'll see where we are at.

Here is where my mixed feelings come into play. In a way, I think this was a good thing as far as it will force everyone to get on board with making sure the kid eats better. It brought attention to an issue that I have been tearing my hair out about for a couple of years now. But it really wasn't anything earth shattering. I'm curious to see how much of this my health insurance covers because, like I said, the dietitian didn't tell me anything I didn't already know. If Dave's mom and the other would have just listened to me in the first place, we wouldn't have to do this. I don't mean to sound like I never give the kid bad food because in the past 6-8 months I had kind of given up and probably wasn't doing all that well with her myself.....

So, in a nutshell, this is considered preventative maintenance. Her cholesterol is high, her triglycerides are slightly high. She needs to eat better and exercise more. It's not rocket science. Hopefully all parties involved can work as a team to make sure the problem gets better, not worse.

And that's all I have to say about that.

I'm bored.

I survived the Chicago trip, skipped the conference but opted to drive home with the wives on Monday rather than fly home by myself. I waited until the last possible moment to make this decision because I forgot to bring my flying tranquilizers with me and I was not really looking forward to the flying. Plus it seems like a huge hassle for what is essentially 45 minutes in the air. We are only 4 hour drive from Chi-town.

Anyway, the other two women were very nice and I felt comfortable enough with them to make the drive. My dad met us in Ann Arbor and drove me home from there. It was a nice weekend and we actually had a really good time. However, I spent the rest of last week paying for the partying we did. It seems to take me a week to recover from a couple late nights these days. We saw 2am both Friday and Saturday (although I really didn't drink that much).

When we go out of town, Dave's mom stays at our house and Becca gets to sleep in the big comfortable bed that is in our spare room. As an extra bonus to her, there is a tv in that bedroom with cable so she gets to watch Hannah Montana in bed which never happens when we are home. So when I showed up at home a day early, she was mad at me for shorting her a night in the big bed. She even treated me to the crossed arms and the pouty lip. So I let her spend the night at Dave's mom's house and as a bonus to me, I had the house completely to myself for an entire evening. I think it has been about a year since I have been alone in the house by myself for more than an hour or two. I read a book, uninterrupted for for 3 hours and stayed up way past my bedtime thereby adding to the lingering exhaustion of the Chicago weekend. It was bliss.

Dave got home Wednesday evening which also happened to be our 3 year anniversary. We celebrated by having dinner at Cracker Barrel and renting a so-so movie called Defiance which is another WWII period movie of which I sick to death. There wasn't much to choose from. I would have rather watched Friends all night.

Then Dave got the brilliant idea to paint the inside of our house this past weekend. I hate painting. I detest it and I'm a total perfectionist, want it to be perfect and am sucky at painting so it is never perfect. So this is not what I wanted to spend the weekend doing. But, he was right in one respect, our house needs to be painted. It is still the builder special of flat white paint which shows everything. And with two kiddies running around the house, there is a lot of everything on our walls. The reason I have been putting off painting is three-fold, #1 the aforementioned suckiness at painting of yours truly, #2 the lack of funds to pay some one to paint it for me and #3 the fact that we have an open floor plan in our 1st floor means that every wall bleeds from one room into another thereby necessitating either a) painting the entire downstairs in the same color, or b) choosing colors that complement each other which brings me to hidden point #4 which is that I do not feel confident in my decorating abilities. All that translates into 3 years in a house with flat white walls everywhere.

So to say the least, I was resistant to the suggestion to paint, but I acquiesced on the promise that I would not have to participate in the actual painting. I was disturbed by Dave's plan that he was not going to tape, but I dutifully went to Lowe's on Friday night, chose four colors that seem to complement each other and off we went.

So of course we ended up taping and I ended up helping, but in the end, I have to say, the house looks beautiful. We still have to tackle the fireplace and the foyer, but the hard stuff (the living room and kitchen) are finished and Dave made me tell him every hour on the hour how he was right. So for the record, Dave was right and I was wrong.

Anxiety, Friends, Refrigerators, Chicago and Right-Brainers

I hate myself for going so long in between posts. I think about posting all the time and in fact, have sat down and started to type several posts. But the words just haven't been flowing.

Nothing is wrong. I've just had nothing to say, or more accurately, everything I have wanted to say wouldn't come out in any sort of coherent stream. I'm still struggling, but I'm forcing myself to type this in the hope that something will click and the words will just start pouring out.

So far that isn't happening.

So here are the things I wanted to talk about. Anxiety, Friends, Refrigerators, Chicago and Right-Brainers.

Anxiety: Sometimes I think I am nuts. Okay, sometimes I know I am nuts. My husband does not understand why when he takes an afternoon service call and does not call to tell me that he is going to be late and said service call is in a hospital or jail where he does not get a cell phone signal and I am trying to call him for 2 hours and cannot get a hold of him, don't know where he is or why he isn't home on time, my natural conclusion is that he must have been in a horrific car crash. And panic ensues to the point that I am totally unreasonable and inconsolable until I finally hear from him. Is this just me? Someone else please tell me that they do this too or I will be convinced that I am a total freak.

Friends: I invested in the complete Friends series on DVD. Dave never watched Friends and was convinced that it was a girly show, but I have converted him. We've been working our way through those and surprise! Sam likes it too. They both laugh their butts off and we have fun watching the episodes together. We love Joey.

Refrigerators: My dream has come true. Dave's mom bought a new refrigerator and gave us her old one which we have placed in the garage and I have been putting it to good use by placing in it all our canned and bottled beverages. Also, we had a birthday party a couple weeks ago for my dad and Sam and I was able to place all the large bowls of food in there without having to spend a half hour shifting stuff around in our inside fridge to try and make room for it. It's bliss. I love it. Plus I the fridge in my kitchen looks so much neater and less cluttery.

Chicago: Dave and I are going to Chi-town for the weekend. This has been planned for months but I have been so busy that it snuck up on me and I feel all panicky about going out of town. I have no time to get ready and I was supposed to be staying for a conference next week which I can't attend now because I have to be at work for an audit. So Dave is mad at me because we have been planning to go to this conference for a year and now he is stuck there without me. His two colleagues will be there with him so he won't be alone and he'll get some guy time. Truth be told, I am kind of relieved because I was not really looking forward to spending three days with three guys. The problem is that I don't know how I am going to get home. We are driving but I need to leave the car with Dave so I either have to rent a car and drive back by myself, buy a one way flight home and have my dad pick me up from the airport or drive back with the other two wives who know each other really well but who I don't know that well and I am such a control freak psycho introvert that the idea of that makes me all floofy. I'm leaning toward the one way flight.

Right-brainers: Dave is reading a book about how right-brained people are going to rule the world in the not so distant future. I haven't read the book myself yet, but from what he has told me so far, I like what I'm hearing. Being a right-brainer myself, I love the idea that my natural inclinations will be more valued in the future. I have spent most of my post-college career trying to stamp out my right-brain inclinations in favor of a more left-brained approach (to the detriment of my mental health-it's exhausting trying to be something you're not. Plus I hate it). So, hopefully these changes come about before I retire. Apparently, according to the book, the MFA is quickly becoming the new MBA. (Alison, if you still read my blog, listen up). If this concept peaks your interest at all, the book is called A Whole New Mind: Why Right-Brainers will Rule the Future. I linked it for you. Check it out my right-brained friends - cuz I know most of you are. Right-Brained that is. Remember I haven't read the book yet, so if it sucks, it's not my fault.

Again, you are all so sweet. Thanks for the words of encouragement. It is heartwarming to read your comments.

We could not get in with the specialist until June 19 so until then we are just trying to eat extra healthy and stepping up the activity. Thank God it is starting to get warmer out!

In other news, Sam came home from his mom's this weekend with a drum set. He has been taking drum lessons and asking for a set of his own and apparently his mom found a good deal on Craig's List. Bet the parents of the guy he bought them from were happy to be rid of them. They are loud! And when I say loud, I mean LOUD. I guess usually when I hear drums being played it is in a loud bar or a very big space. In my little house they are LOUD. Lol. It's kind of maddening and kind of cute. Being the much younger after thought kid growing up our house was always really quiet so in some ways I enjoy the chaos. In other ways, I want to crawl into a padded sound proof room and read by myself ;)

Follow up to Yesterday's Post

You guys are much kinder to me than I am to myself. Thank you. Even if I'm not sure I'm so noble, it is nice to hear.

I am getting info in bits and pieces and here is what I got today.

Her cholesterol is very high for a 9 year old, but everything else is good (liver, glucose, etc...) so the specialist apparently is going to help us to figure out what kind of diet and exercise plan would be best for her. So actually, in a weird way, this is a good thing because it is going to force the other people in her life to get on board with this. The doctor suggested that those individuals go with us to the specialist so that they can be involved and held accountable. Dave and I are very committed to making this happen and will not tolerate anymore dissension in the ranks. In his words, "This is a battle we will win."

She is okay. I don't think she really understands what is going on right now. I mean can a 9 year old really grasp the fact that she is in danger of having a heart attack?

I am philosophical about this. It isn't fair, but I have been thinking about it and everyone has a burden to bear in her life (I'm sure you would all agree with this as I know most of you and can attest to the burdens you are bearing). Her burden is that she got shafted on the mom front and she can't just eat whatever she wants. I was talking to her about this last night and telling her about all the wonderful blessings she has. She is so smart. School is a breeze for her. She is so outgoing and friendly. Everyone loves her. She has the most beautiful hair I have ever seen. It is thick and gorgeous. And then I told her about the burden I had to bear growing up. I had terrible acne and for many years I let that define who I was. Her brother thinks his ears stick out. Dave won't let me blog about his burdens, but trust me, he has them. And, as I also explained to her, some people, even little people, have to deal with things like cancer and death. And if you compare it to that, eating healthy and exercising is minor.

I feel more optimistic about it today. Thanks for letting me blather on about it. You all are the best.

This is Hard to Talk About

But before I do, I would like to clarify something about Captain Kirk that I said in my previous post. I said that Captain Kirk hasn't been this sexy in a long time speaking about the new Captain Kirk from the original Star Trek series. I did not mean to imply that the William Shatner Captain Kirk wasn't sexy, only that it has been a long time since Captain Kirk has tickled my fancy. This new updated Kirk definitely made me a little tingly.

Okay, now that I have that out of the way I would like to say that it took 5.7 seconds for my life to get back to crazy after we returned from vacation and I would now like another one.

So here is the hard to talk about thing. My stepdaughter has a weight problem-she is 9 years old. This is something that has been a big strain since the kids first came into my life because I grew up with a very health conscious mother and I feel that I have a pretty realistic (if not obsessive) idea of what is required to maintain a healthy lifestyle. She was 5 when Dave and I started dating and it (the weight problem) had already started at that point. Without trashing on her mother too much, lets just say that she stopped mothering when Bec about a year or more before she actually left. Again without trashing on her too much, she left her 4 yr old daughter and 9 year old son with their father and just moved out to do her own thing. During recent conversations with the kids I have learned that the little one has little recollection of her mom and dad being together but has a very clear memory in her head of the night her mommy left. As told to me, "Mommy came in and told us goodnight [the kids were in bed for the night] and that she was leaving." That would be leaving as in moving out.

Okay, so I'm getting a little off topic except to say that it is my personal opinion that this child eats because food is the one thing her mommy always gave her. It is also my personal opinion that her mommy gave her whatever food she wanted because that was the easiest thing to do so that she did not have to deal with her.

So anyway, why am I posting about this? Well, the kids have been living with us now for three years and the weight thing hasn't gotten any better. In fact, I think it has gotten worse. Okay well, I know it has gotten worse. I thought I could lick it myself, but with the kids going to their mom's on the weekends and with some other people who the kids spend time with, we were just managing for it not to get worse. But all of the sudden it seemed to get worse.

She has been going to a family doctor who has not seemed concerned about it so this year I made her an appointment with a new pediatrician (mind you I have no legal rights to this child). The pediatrician noted the severity of the situation and ordered a blood test.

Diagnosis for my 9 year old stepdaughter - high cholesterol. The doc is referring us to a pediatric cardiologist. WTF.

So this next part, I'm just keeping it real so please don't judge me too harshly for what I am about to say.

I'm disgusted. I'm disgusted with her mom and her grandma for not getting on board with us on the eating thing earlier. I'm pissed and resentful that this is somehow my problem to deal with because I had fell in love with a guy with kids. I wish that I didn't care and that I could just say, "oh well, not my kid." But I can't. I worried about what this is going to cost us. I have pretty decent health insurance, but it doesn't cover everything and meds are expensive and lord knows what the specialist is going to run. I'm worried that people are going to think this is my fault when in fact it is a problem that I inherited.

And, I'm terribly worried about the kid. I have no details yet on how serious this is. And I'm sorry that a 9 year old kid has to be cognisant of the fact that she is overweight and is going to have to come to terms with the fact that while all her friends are eating McDonald's french fries and drinking milkshakes, she can't. The whole thing is bullshit.

Nerd Family Values

My Sci Fi nerd husband and I took our future nerd kids to see the first showing the of new Star Trek last night. Did this mean the 9 year old was up past her bedtime and didn't take a bath last night? You betcha. But for this nerd family it was totally worth it. No, we did not wear Star Trek costumes, nor do we own any. Of course, if I had ever been able to locate a frickin' comm badge I would have worn that.

In case you are new to my blog, let me recap for you. In the almost three years Dave and I have been married we have Netflixed and watched all seven seasons of Star Trek THG and all seven seasons of Star Trek Voyager. Plus we have been dabbling in the original series. I truly did marry my soulmate.

Okay, to recap: Four big thumbs up for the newest Star Trek movie; Captain Kirk has never been so sexy (sorry Mr. Shatner but it's true) and my husband and I are big nerds trying to raise two future nerd kids.

Thank you, have a nice day.

Pictures as Promised

So Dave and I had planned on taking a vacation to one of the Caribbean Islands as a sequel to our St. Lucia honeymoon. But our passports took a lot longer to show up and I wasn't having a whole lot of luck finding what I felt was a sufficient deal. While I really really really (and I can't stress this enough) really, wanted to go on vacation, I told Dave it wasn't going to happen. He said he didn't care if he had to sell one of his kidney's that I was to plan something. So I starting looking for places inside the US and lo and behold, I found a phenomenal deal at The Royal Palms Resort in Phoenix, AZ. Arizona wasn't my first choice since it is no where near the ocean, but the deal was too good to pass up. And I knew it was pretty much a sure thing that it would be warm.

So we booked it and we went. And we got there and I shut down. Literally. Usually we are pretty big into sightseeing. We love museums and parks and battlefields, etc.... So I guess I was more worn out than I realized because we got there and I parked my butt at the pool are barely left the resort. Dave hiked Camelback with my brother (who lives in Phoenix) and I went to the spa for a mani and pedi. He did manage to drag me out one day to the Air Force museum and the whole time I just wanted to get back to the resort. Anyway, I read two books and it was heavenly. We really enjoyed just spending some down time with each other.

I've attached some pictures so you can see how pretty the resort was.


This was our little private patio right outside our room. It was in the high 90's/low 100's every day. The last day we were there we ordered room service for breakfast and ate at that table.

This is one of the courtyards at the resort. They had several weddings there the first weekend we were there. That mountain you see is Camelback which is where Dave hiked. He went to the top and was pretty proud of himself.

This is another courtyard where at night you can sit and have drinks. Did anyone else know that you can get Absinthe in the US now? I had my first taste of it here and it was gross. I did not see the green fairy.
I don't have any cute pictures of us together because we really didn't do anything. This is our traditional self portrait. I thought it was cute even though half of my face is cut off.

Babies Galore

Like most offices, our office manager sends out birth announcements when anyone in the company welcomes a new little one.

I got one this morning that was a little unusual and made me do a double take.

It said, "Please congratulate ***** and his wife as they celebrate the birth of their new bundles of joy" And then it listed four, yes four, names with all their little newborn info after them. None of them weighing in at more than 2.5 lbs.

I was wondering, do you think they would give me one of their babies since they have 3 extras?

My PMS Catch up Post

Ah Internet. I have missed you. Also I am up to my eyeballs in work that piled up while I was in Arizona lounging by the pool last week. But I cannot stay away anymore.

I stopped at Boston Market on my way home tonight to buy dinner for my family. For some reason the kids consider this gourmet food and I get tons of step-mom points when I bring it home. As soon as the bag is spied I get cheers and hugs and kisses (not so hot on the kisses since Swine Flu has showed up on the horizon). Anyway, when I walked into Boston Market I noticed this cute little family at the cash register. The man was in a suit and tie and the mom was dressed in jeans with a cute backpack diaper bag on one arm and a cute little baby on the other. They had two little boys as well, also cute. I don't know why I noticed them but I did. I guess it was because they were just so, cute.

While I was standing in line, I started talking to the older gentleman in front of me. Y'all, I don't know what possessed me to do this because I'm a twitchy introvert who does not really talk to random people who I don't know in public places. But for some reason I started talking to this man. And he was so nice. He just started chatting away telling me about this new restaurant he tried last night and how good it was. For some reason it gave me the warm fuzzies. We bid each other a good evening as he left with his gourmet fare and I paid for mine.

And as I was leaving I noticed the cute family again. They were all sitting at a table with their heads bowed in prayer. It was touching. I was touched. It hasn't been a very good week for Michigan and there hasn't seemed to be much to be happy or optimistic about. But we're all in it together. Any maybe I need to remember that.

PS

I added a few links - if I linked you and you don't want to be linked, please let me know and I will take it down!

I'm Back

We are back from our vacation. And I have been frigging with this blog for the last hour.

Can you tell how much progress I haven't made?

I will get some pictures up this week, I promise.

We had a wonderful time and got to remember what it was like when we were dating. I'll tell you all about it. Soon.

Random Thoughts on me Drive to Work

(Sorry, I've been watching too much SpongeBob and I think I'm Mr.. Crabs.)

I turned off the talk radio this morning and turned on the XM/Sirius 80's station. I realize now how much more my wind can wander and unwind when I am listening to music instead of a talk show host tell me how f'd up the country is.

Am I the only one who is totally transported back to my youth when I listen to the music from it? I also realized this morning how stupid the lyrics are to a lot of 80's songs. For instance, this morning I got to hear "Every Rose has it's Thorn" by Poison. Ah, Poison. I thought they were girls the first time I saw them and even when I realized they were actually men, I was still jealous of their complexion and make-up jobs. Anyway, one of the lines in that song is, "Every rose has it's thorn, just like every night has it's dawn." So are they vampires? Because I thought a thorn was a bad thing and a dawn after a long dark night was a good thing. So how are those two things alike?

Then I heard, "Straight Up" by Paula Abdul. Sweet! I loved that song when I was 14. But what about the line, "Straight up now tell me are you gonna love me forever? Or am I caught up in a hit and run"? Right. I guess I understand what a hit and run is.

While I was pondering the 80's and my youth, I came to a stop light. I have to travel about 8 miles on a residential but busy two lane road with many stop lights along the way (about half my drive), it's actually kind of nice. I like to see houses on my way to work instead of billboards. This is actually the long way, but I prefer it over the expressway. So I was sitting at the light and I see this boy, probably about 11 years old (I'm guessing based on my limited knowledge of children), and he is riding his bike across the busy road. He's smart enough to cross with the light and he's wearing a helmet, but he is obviously on his way to school, he had his backpack on his back. But for some reason it made me sad. Probably because I struggle everyday with the fact that my kids have parents (all four of us) who work and I feel guilty. They come home to an empty house at least twice a week and when they go to their mom's house she mostly lets the tv babysit them. But that being said, they never have to get themselves off to school in the morning. Sam gets driven to the bus stop and Becca's bus stop is right in front of our house and either myself, Dave or his mom or my dad is always there to see her off. I don't think I could put my little boy on his bike and send down a busy street to school.

Now I understand that there may be a lot more to the story then what I perceive just from seeing the kid riding him bike down the street, but that is the reaction I had to it.

Okay, so I kept driving after seeing the little boy on his bike and I continued to jam to the 80's station. My mind wandered to such topics as Aqua Net hairspray, braces, jelly bracelets, jelly shoes and Madonna (The boy toy Madonna). Then I looked down and realized that I was almost out of gas. I stopped for gas, leaked it all over my hands, whoops and then came to work to find out that there was yet another round of layoffs going on. This involved two people that I have worked with since I started here 7 years ago (one of which has 5 kids).

I'm sad. Again.

You couldn't pay me enough to go back to being 14, except when I hear Bruce Springsteen singing Glory Days.

I'm not dead. Here's the short version.

We have been laying people off at work. It has been sucky.

Dave and I have been experiencing some trials and tribulations of late (see secret blog that does not exist yet). We're okay but it's been sucky too.

Saturday we are leaving for a week in Arizona. Much needed for our mental sanity, our relationship, and our pasty white skin.

On a spiritual note, not to be too cheesy but even with all of the above going on, I have felt the most at peace with my life that I have felt in years.

I want to expound on these things, but there is neither the time nor the will right now.

On a lighter note, I finally got my passport and the picture is worse then my drivers license. I look like Fred Flintstone, my head and face take up most of the picture. I'm pretty sure you cannot get a passport picture retaken just because you think you look stupid.

Hmmmm.

Dear Michigan

Kiss my ass.

Melanie

Another another Customer Service Rant

Does it bug anyone else when you are eating at a sit down restaurant and after you are finished eating but before the server has even brought your bill, they are cleaning off your table? I don't mean removing a few plates that you are finished with or empty drink glasses when they bring you a fresh drink to make more room on the table. I mean the server is standing at your table taking every last piece of everything off of it while you are sitting there trying to have a conversation with whoever it is that you are eating with? It annoys the crap out of me. "Go away server. I'm trying to have a conversation that does not concern you." You can clean the table off after I'm gone.

What ever happened to bus boys?

An while we're on that subject, what ever happened to the baggers at the grocery store? Why do I have to bag my own groceries or sit there and wait while the cashier bags everything which takes twice as long and usually results in my bread being bagged with my raw chicken and a bottle of Windex? I know I have complained before about having to ring up my own groceries which I now refuse to do unless Dave is with me so he can bag, but this is the next worst thing. So let me get this straight, I am paying twice as much for most of my groceries as I did two years ago and now I have to either ring it up and bag it all by myself or I have to suffer my bread to be soaked in salmonella juice?

I have blogger block.

I have started at least 3 posts in the past week that never got posted.

Our week in a nutshell? My grandma was sick in the hospital, my parents went to Florida and we had to take them to the airport but then they weren't sure they were going because of my grandma, but then they ended up going. She's okay, thankfully.

Sam got in big trouble at school (I feel like I should not say what it was for since it is always possible he knows about my blog and secretly reads it - we do share a computer at home). Then my interfering MIL decided to stick her two cents in which is always the same two cents and basically amounts to that it is never the kid in questions fault and that if we inflict any sort of punishment on him/her we are terrible parents. Blah, blah, blah. Dave told her that it was none of her business and now she won't talk to him. I hate drama so I've just retreated.

I had to be in a class at work on Thursday and Friday and it was a physical effort to actually pay attention to what the instructor was talking about. I found my mind wandering all over the place.

So it's a new week. I am bound and determined that it will be a good week. I only have 2 meetings scheduled so far, Wednesday is April Fools Day (don't forget!) which always brings some sort of fun at work, and I rented The Neverending Story to watch with Becca tonight.

Bastian, call my name!

Oh the Places You'll Go

These are the places I want to go:

Barbados
St. Thomas
St. Croix
St. Maarten
St. Kitts
St. Barth
Hawaii
Napa Valley
Tahiti
Australia
Cuba (someday after they aren't communist anymore and it isn't illegal)

These are the places I can afford to go:

Pittsburgh
Indianapolis
Grand Rapids
Dayton
Toledo

Places I can neither afford nor do I care to visit:

Detroit (see earlier post)

Smart Shopper Tip

Costco.

Mezzacorona Pinot Grigio

The BIG bottle.

$9.99

You do not need a membership to buy alcohol at Costco. I have never see these big bottles of this wine for less than $15.00 anywhere else and this is the best white wine I have ever had.

Seriously.

It was a rough afternoon at our house.

And that's all I have to say about that.

Victoria's Secret is Stalking Me

I bought two things from their catalogue and now I get 1-2 catalogues in the mail every day and at least 3 e-mails from them every day.

Even Dave is getting sick of looking at the catalogues.

What kind of marketing plan is that?

The One Where I Tell You About my Boring Life

I am so glad to say good bye to this week. Not only did we have to give an hour to father time for daylight savings, but Dave had two days where he had to be up at 5 a.m. and we seemed to be getting in bed later than usual. By yesterday afternoon I felt like I was in a fog and just wanted to come home and become one with the couch.

We went to yoga this morning where the instructor proceeded to lead us in the most difficult vinyasa hour I have experienced in a couple years. I hated every minute of it and I loved every minute of it.

Tonight we have more tickets to the symphony because I fell prey to a telemarketer and purchased a 5 show package. This was after we had already gone to two previous shows in the fall - that is how the telemarketer got my phone number. Tonight is the third show in the package and we gave my parents the last tickets so they could go. I like the symphony but I'm getting sick of driving to Detroit. It's an hour drive for us each way and the show doesn't start until 8:30. And I'm lame and a homebody. But we always do enjoy ourselves.

So this weekend I thought I would try to find us a hotel downtown so we could make a little mini getaway out of it. I've wanting to check out the new Westin Book Cadillac. I was in there for work before it was finished and you could already tell it was going to be beautiful. But alas, they want $200 a night. Too much for De-riot. So I checked the MGM Grand which looks even better than the Book and it was $300 a night (plus tax which is about another $20). I cannot bring myself to spend that much to stay in Detroit. So we're doing the drive.

Dave had a Citibank credit card before we got married which he still uses. I handle the bill paying right now and I pay as much stuff online as I can. This is a plus because I can wait until the day before things are due and pay them on time still. That is very important for a procrastinator like me.

So tonight I went to the Citibank website to pay the bill and in bold red at the top of the web page it tells me that after March 23, my online account will no longer be available. WTF? Am I going to have to pay by paper check and snail mail? I am so screwed.

I can't even call Citibank because it is Dave's card and I'm not even on the account. So I immediately freak out, make him drop what he is doing to call them right now.

Turns out the card has been sold to Bank of America and supposedly we got something in the mail telling us. If we did, I never saw it. I hate when my accounts change hands because now I have to learn the new t's and c's, sign on for a new online account and what if that does not happen by the time the next payment is due? What will I do if I pay late? Did you know the late fee on a credit card payment is now something like $39 a pop?

On top of that, I got a letter from Captial One which is the credit card that I have from before we were married and that I use telling me that because the economy is so bad they are changing the terms of my account. You guessed it, interest rate hike. Seriously.

Come to think of it, I hate credit card companies. I always feel like they are trying to trap me.

I know this a dry and boring subject but this is what I'm doing tonight.

Need More Time

No. Time. To. Blog.

My day in 60 seconds or less.

Got up late. Damn the spring forward.
Got to work late. Got blindsided by boss telling me I suddenly am required to have 6 certifications I do not currently have. Suddenly as in never discussed before this day and needing to be achieved by the end of the year. Hmmm, I told him to demote me. Please demote me is how I put it I think.
Tried to get husband to meet for lunch - he was too busy to leave office and I had to be back early for a conference call so that was a no go. I cried a couple little tears of frustration, bucked up and finished the day. If I had any energy now I would update my resume.
Small people that live in my house are upstairs asking me to tuck them and are fighting over who gets to sleep with the dog tonight. I have to go. More tomorrow. Good night.

PS I love the fact that I can see my grass - even if it is brown still.

More Quotes from Becca

We told her she cannot have heelys (shoes with wheels) and she has been obsessed about it ever since. Today she got an American Girl catalogue in the mail and discovered they have heelys for the American Girl doll and they are $18.95. She has a $20 bill that my mom gave her for Valentine's Day and wants me to order the heelys and tells me, "If I can't have heelys, then at least my American Girl can."

When we bought our house it was a spec house so it had some furniture in it. I asked the agent about buying these green chairs that were here and he just gave them to us. So the other day Dave was looking at property values for our area and we were lamenting the fact that houses comparable to ours are now selling for $50,000 less than we paid (we have lived here 2 1/2 years). Becca hears this and says, "But we got those green chairs with it."

I assure you, the chairs are not worth 50k.

A 3 Legged Dog

I went to downtown Plymouth to grab a sandwich for lunch and I saw an old man walking his 3 legged dog down the sidewalk.

The dog seemed to be getting along fine, so why did this make me feel so sad?

Lake Placid and Really Smart Sharks

Okay, first of all, I so do not feel like cooking dinner tonight. Like I am just sitting here wondering what to make and dreading it and wanting to go out to eat, but not wanting to take the time to go out to eat. Blah.

Second of all, Sam in 13 and he is really into campy horror movies right now. He keeps adding movies to my netflix queue like, "Dawn of the Dead" and "Night of the Living Dead" and "Rise of the Living Dead" you get my point, right? They're gross/funny. You know the kind of movie where the blood looks like red paint?

Well, since I am such a movie lover, I have been filling my queue up with my own favorite campy movies and today in the mail came "Lake Placid" and "Deep Blue Sea". Yes! I love the giant alligators and overly intelligent sharks and Samuel L. Jackson getting ripped in half by the overly intelligent sharks. I can't wait to share these obviously intellectually stimulating movies with Sam.

Do you have a favorite campy horror or cheesy action adventure flick that you love? I'm looking for suggestions that do not involve 70's era zombies!