But before I do, I would like to clarify something about Captain Kirk that I said in my previous post. I said that Captain Kirk hasn't been this sexy in a long time speaking about the new Captain Kirk from the original Star Trek series. I did not mean to imply that the William Shatner Captain Kirk wasn't sexy, only that it has been a long time since Captain Kirk has tickled my fancy. This new updated Kirk definitely made me a little tingly.
Okay, now that I have that out of the way I would like to say that it took 5.7 seconds for my life to get back to crazy after we returned from vacation and I would now like another one.
So here is the hard to talk about thing. My stepdaughter has a weight problem-she is 9 years old. This is something that has been a big strain since the kids first came into my life because I grew up with a very health conscious mother and I feel that I have a pretty realistic (if not obsessive) idea of what is required to maintain a healthy lifestyle. She was 5 when Dave and I started dating and it (the weight problem) had already started at that point. Without trashing on her mother too much, lets just say that she stopped mothering when Bec about a year or more before she actually left. Again without trashing on her too much, she left her 4 yr old daughter and 9 year old son with their father and just moved out to do her own thing. During recent conversations with the kids I have learned that the little one has little recollection of her mom and dad being together but has a very clear memory in her head of the night her mommy left. As told to me, "Mommy came in and told us goodnight [the kids were in bed for the night] and that she was leaving." That would be leaving as in moving out.
Okay, so I'm getting a little off topic except to say that it is my personal opinion that this child eats because food is the one thing her mommy always gave her. It is also my personal opinion that her mommy gave her whatever food she wanted because that was the easiest thing to do so that she did not have to deal with her.
So anyway, why am I posting about this? Well, the kids have been living with us now for three years and the weight thing hasn't gotten any better. In fact, I think it has gotten worse. Okay well, I know it has gotten worse. I thought I could lick it myself, but with the kids going to their mom's on the weekends and with some other people who the kids spend time with, we were just managing for it not to get worse. But all of the sudden it seemed to get worse.
She has been going to a family doctor who has not seemed concerned about it so this year I made her an appointment with a new pediatrician (mind you I have no legal rights to this child). The pediatrician noted the severity of the situation and ordered a blood test.
Diagnosis for my 9 year old stepdaughter - high cholesterol. The doc is referring us to a pediatric cardiologist. WTF.
So this next part, I'm just keeping it real so please don't judge me too harshly for what I am about to say.
I'm disgusted. I'm disgusted with her mom and her grandma for not getting on board with us on the eating thing earlier. I'm pissed and resentful that this is somehow my problem to deal with because I had fell in love with a guy with kids. I wish that I didn't care and that I could just say, "oh well, not my kid." But I can't. I worried about what this is going to cost us. I have pretty decent health insurance, but it doesn't cover everything and meds are expensive and lord knows what the specialist is going to run. I'm worried that people are going to think this is my fault when in fact it is a problem that I inherited.
And, I'm terribly worried about the kid. I have no details yet on how serious this is. And I'm sorry that a 9 year old kid has to be cognisant of the fact that she is overweight and is going to have to come to terms with the fact that while all her friends are eating McDonald's french fries and drinking milkshakes, she can't. The whole thing is bullshit.
4 comments:
Oh, that is horrible. Poor thing. I can barely control myself when it comes to comfort eating (really I can't) and I can't imagine how hard it must be for a kid. That sucks. And add the health complications on top of the social/self-esteem issues, and it really is horrifying.
You're a good mother, Melanie, and I don't know how to say this without sounding patronizing so I'll just say it: I'm really, really proud of you.
So, she hasn't seen the cardiologist yet? How is she handling the appointments and what the doctors so far have said?
Wow, I am so pissed!!! WTF!! Well! I think shit for brains and her mother should be at the follow up appointment AFTER the cardiologist does whatever testing needs to be done. You just telling them may not do the trick. Dip shit and her mom need to actually set foot in that place and have the specialist tell them the truth!
I understand that you are not her birth mother, but that is all that the woman is. YOU.. are her mom. YOU are doing what any loving mother on the planet would do for their child.
I think there is a reason why you and Dave met. God knew exactly what he was doing, and that child is lucky to have you.
Please let me know how things come out and if you need anything. I will high tail it over to your place with a huge bottle of vino.
xoxo.
I have absolutely no advice to offer, since I don't have kids, but what I will say is that this child is so lucky to have you.
And while this seems strange, everything happens for a reason and maybe this scare happened so you could address the issue now, rather than watch her go through pain later - in middle school & high school when we all know how mean kids can get.
Keep us posted and know we're here for ya.
I know that this is a tough situation for you but I know you and you are an amazing woman - as well as mother. I know that she is not yours flesh and blood but you are raising her as your own and for that you should be able to beat the shit our of "real" mom.
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