Lessons from a Certified Control Freak

I'm a control freak. Those of you who know me are laughing right now and saying, "No Kidding." It's not a secret. I come from a long line of control freaks. It's hereditary. Or Nurture. Maybe both.

Anyway, there have been a few times in my life where my control freakiness has gotten out of hand because when I feel out of control, I tend to get anxious. I was single for a lot longer than I wanted to be and that made me anxious. I wasn't happy at work and that made me anxious. I married a man who had two kids and they live with us full time. That definitely made me anxious. Well, all this anxiousness was starting to get annoying so I had to come up with some way around it. I had to relax. So here is the conclusion I came to; You cannot control every single thing in your life. You just can't and if you try to, you are going to be crazy. And ANXIOUS. But guess what you can control? Your reaction to events. I don't have to let myself be anxious. I can choose to be calm.

I found yoga about 6 years ago for this very reason. It centers me. It grounds me. And it helps me to stop and breathe before I freak out about something stupid or something not so stupid. I would highly recommend trying it out if you haven't. I've never been a fan of exercise, but this is a practice I was born for.

Okay, so I'm kind of rambling. But the reason I've been thinking about all of this is because of recent events in my life and an e-mail I received last week.

Six months ago, my husband quit his job to do his own thing. (I can't go into detail on that for legal reasons) We discussed it before he did it and I was totally on board. I love and trust my husband. He's driven and I know that he will accept nothing short of success. And I support him 100%. But a funny thing happened to control freak me after he quit. It suddenly hit me that I was sole breadwinner for the family until he got his "thing" going. And suddenly I hated my job. And I mean hated with the passion of a thousand suns. It wasn't just that I felt trapped. It just so happened that his departure from Corporate America coincided with some very "corporate" changes that started happening at my office. We moved. I accepted a promotion. I had two new bosses in the span of 3 months. Control freak me was having trouble adjusting. And it showed to everyone. And then I received the following e-mail last week.


One of the best of Life’s laws!

THE LAW OF THE GARBAGE TRUCK

How often do you let other people’s nonsense change your mood? Do you let a bad driver, rude waiter, curt boss or an insensitive employee ruin your day? Unless you’re the Terminator, for an instant you’re probably set back on your heels. However, the mark of a successful person is how quickly he/she can get back his or her focus on what’s truly important.

Sixteen years ago I learned this lesson. I learned it in the back of a New York City taxi cab. Here’s what happened: I hopped in a taxi and we took off for Grand Central Station. We were driving in the right lane when, all of a sudden, a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his brakes, skidded and missed the other car’s back end by just inches!

The driver of the other car, the guy who almost caused a big accident, whipped his head around and he started yelling bad words at us. My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. And I mean, HE WAS FRIENDLY. So, I said, “Why did you just do that? This guy almost ruined your car and sent us to the hospital!” And this is when my taxi drive told me what I now call, “THE LAW OF THE GARBAGE TRUCK”.

Many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it. And, if you let them, they’ll dump it on you. When someone wants to dump on you, don’t take it personally. You just smile, wave, wish them well and move on. You’ll be happy you did.

So this was it: “THE LAW OF THE GARBAGE TRUCK” I started thinking, how often do I let Garbage Trucks run right over me? And, how often do I take their garbage and spread it to other people at work, at home, on the field, on the ice, on the streets? It was that day I said, “I’m not going to do it anymore.’ I began to see garbage trucks.

Like in the movie “The Sixth Sense,” the little boy said, “I see Dead People.” Well, now, “I see Garbage Trucks.” I see the load they’re carrying. I see them coming to drop their load off and, like my Taxi Driver, I don’t make it a personal thing. I just smile, wave, wish them well and move on.

One of my favorite football players of all time, Walter Payton, did this every day on the football field. He would jump up as quickly as he hit the ground after being tackled. He never dwelled on a hit, never retaliated. Payton was ready to make the next play his best. He did not take the hit personally; it was just part of the game he loved to play.

Good leaders know they have to be ready for their next meeting. Good athletes know they have to leave it on the field, and persevere. Good parents know that they have to welcome their children home from school with hugs and kisses. Leaders and parents know that they have to be fully present and at their best for the people they care about most.

The bottom line is that successful people do not let Garbage Trucks take over their day. What about you? What would happen in your life, starting today, if you let more garbage trucks pass you by? Here’s my bet: you’ll be happier. Life’s too short to wake up in the morning with regrets. So….Love the people who treat you right. Forget about the ones who don’t.

I realized that I had been letting outside forces influence me. The control freak was letting herself be controlled. It wasn't just nasty people that I was letting get to me; but nasty work. And my job is not my life. My job is not me. First and foremost I'm a wife, and a mother, and a daughter and a friend. Then somewhere down the list I'm an employee. And if I don't stay in control of my attitude, then everyone loses. Especially me.

A Few More Pics to Keep You Interested!

Look at this pretty lady. I think she looks as beautiful as when we were in high school - I hope she sees that too. She kept talking about leftover "baby weight". I told her to quit being so hard on herself. She looks great!

So now you can see where Max got his looks.

Dave loved playing with Magoo. She reminds him of his old dog Molly who lives with her mom and only visits occasionally.

And last but not least, the photos you have all been waiting for!! The battlefield!! We have about 400 pictures of Gettysburg and Antietam -it's hard to decide which ones to put up. When I'm looking at the little thumbnails they all look very similar! Even though I make fun of my hubby for being such a history geek, I found it very interesting as well. It was also very beautiful land.

I Finally Loaded the Camera Software

This is my baby. Dave makes fun of me because I take so many pictures of him. I don't care if he thinks I'm crazy. I love this dog.

This is Mandy(you have to call her Miranda)'s baby.

We had so much fun visiting and playing with him last week. I am currently working on a slide show, but so far have been experiencing technical difficulties. But rather than make you wait until I get it straight (which lets face it could take several months), I figured I'd give you a little preview of our trip. Dave took over 400 pictures of the battlefields at Gettysburg and Antietam. Even if I figure out the slide show, I will only be showing you about 10 of those. Otherwise no one will ever come back to this blog again!

Dave got a big smile from Max without even trying. What's up with that? I jumped around like a monkey and talked like a cartoon character trying to get that kid to smile and Dave still got the best and biggest smile. You can't tell in this photo because the Nuk is in the way. But trust me - it was a big smile.

Here we are crossing the Delaware bridge. We felt like George Washington - except it was October, not December. And we were in a car.

The battlefield at Gettysburg - the site of the bloodiest battle ever fought on American soil. Hallowed ground. Somewhere between 46,000 and 51,000 men died here and there was a bratty teenager running around the battlefield on her cell phone talking (loudly) about hairspray and boys. I wanted to smack her and her parents who were standing there watching her do it.

For whatever reason, blogger isn't letting me post anymore pictures. I'll edit this post and try again later.

Home Sweet Home

We're back! And I have a lot to do.

We had an amazing time on our little vacation this year, but we were very ready to get home and sleep in our own bed. I had some problem sleeping the last two nights we were away.

We also took nearly 500 pictures. I went a little overboard snapping photos of baby Max (he's so dang cute!!) and Dave went a little overboard snapping photos of the Gettysburg Battlefield. I intend to get those loaded on the computer before the end of the weekend and posted somewhere so you can look at them. I probably won't post the whole thing because I don't think most of you want to look at a hundred pictures of monuments from the battlefield. I guess that is the joy of digital cameras. You can take as many pics as you want, but don't have to print them all.

I am so glad I took today off as well. We left Gettysburg yesterday around 10:00am and arrived back home at 8:00pm last night. Getting up and having to deal with work would have bit.

The B&B was AWESOME! I will get some pictures of that up as well. The website does not lie.

Anyway, I need to get some coffee in me and get Becca up for school. I will be back with some nice vacation stories soon!!

Dr Laura and My Husband

I forgot one other thing I wanted to mention. Which was the best one.

Friday I was driving home and listening to Dr. Laura on my XM Radio (don't laugh) and she was telling on of her callers to stop on his way home and buy his wife some flowers. And I started thinking that it has been a long time since Dave has given my flowers. So I was thinking when I got home I was going to ask him if he doesn't love me anymore since it's been so long since he's bought me flowers and he usually makes it a point to do it every few months.

And I'm not kidding you, I walked in the door and there on the counter is a dozen red roses! I couldn't believe it.

I took some pictures of them; they are gorgeous. But my lazy punk ass hasn't taken the time to load the software for my new camera onto my computer so I can't load them. Sorry. You'll just have to imagine them. But I assure you - they are gorgeous!!

He says he got stopped by a train on the way home right in front of the florist and that is why he bought them. :)

Cleaning House

I have been in a post funk for the past few days. I've been blog surfing, but I just haven't had the energy to type anything up. So this post will probably be all over the place.

First of all, I did make the Oven Baked Almond Chicken. It was good and everyone ate it. It came with sweet and sour sauce so the kids dipped in that. Which they would probably eat just about anything if they can mask it with some sort of sauce. I don't think I crushed the Almonds up enough though because the kids just picked them off. Next time I think I will throw them in the food processor for a few seconds before I coat the chicken.

This week I took out of the freezer, Chicken Paella and Beef Stew. Dave and I are leaving for a little vacation on Thursday afternoon so I'm only thawing the two this week.

Okay. The vacation. Thursday afternoon we are leaving to drive to New Jersey to visit Mandy (you have to call her Miranda), her hubby Karl and little baby Max. Of course I can't stand babies so that has nothing to do with us going :) Just kidding! So we are spending Friday night and Saturday night with them and then Sunday we are leaving to drive to Gettysburg, PA. If I haven't mentioned it before, my husband is a history junkie and has been wanting to go for years. We are staying in a Bed and Breakfast called The Brickhouse Inn which I am really excited about because it looks adorable and it got rave reviews. I love staying at B&B's. So we have been watching Ken Burn's documentary, The Civil War in preparation for our trip. I have booked us a personal battlefield tour and dinner at some sort of ancient restaurant which was recommended by the B&B staff. I'm so glad I married a man who likes to do more than just watch sports 24/7.

Needless to say, we are both ready for a few days away.

On another note, I made the mistake of surfing my way over the the Walt Disney World website yesterday and have discovered that I can book us for a week in January for quite a bit less than we paid last year. And I really really want to do it. The kids had so much fun and they still talk about it. There are two problems. #1 Dave doesn't know if he will be able to get away. With his business in the baby stages, it's hard to know. I'm already feeling a little worried about taking him away this week. #2 I couldn't find a very good deal on flights. If I were to book a flight now, it would cost me over a grand for the four of us.

So for now, I've pushed the whole thing to the back of my mind the best I can. But for those of you who know me - once I get my mind set on something, I tend to obsess about it until I make it happen one way or another. We'll see.

I Heart Dream Dinners

Last night, sirloin roast. Thaw in marinade (provided). Throw under broiler for 15 minutes. Open a can of corn and toss a salad from a bag, throw a potato in the oven.

Roast - tender, delicious
Children - full
Husband - full and happy because it was red meat
Mommy - thrilled beyond belief

Tonight, turkey medallions wrapped in bacon. Pull out of bag, rub with spice rub (provided). Throw under broiler for 30 minutes. Heat up some frozen sugar snap pea pods. Get the rest of the salad from last night out from the fridge.

Turkey - tasty and tender
Children - full again (acheived the Sam seal of approval which almost never happens unless the meal involves hot dogs or mac and cheese)
Husband - not as thrilled with white meat, but more thrilled than if I had served a frozen pizza
Mommy - ecstatic. sat down on the couch by 8:00

Tomorrow - oven baked almond chicken

What more do I have to say?

The Modern Life

I'm a modern woman. I work full time, commute two hours a day and run a household with a husband and two kids in it. I love love love to cook, but I don't love to do it when I come home after working a 10-12 hour day. So this weekend I did something I am very excited about. I went to a place called "Dream Dinners" and made meals to last me a month or so. And I did it all without even picking up the phone.

I went to their website, picked the date I wanted to go "make the meals", then I chose the meals I wanted to make. I gave them my credit card number and that was it. I showed up on the pre arranged date and in two hours had twelve meals to take home and freeze to be used throughout the month.

When you get there, they had you a list of all the meals you chose to make - then you just go around to each station, assemble the meal, slap the label with the directions on it and once you've done all the ones you chose, throw them in a cooler and take them home. It took two hours.

I'll let you know how the food is - I haven't cooked any of it yet.