Today I took Guinness for a walk. It was absolutely beautiful outside. The sky was gorgeous and totally blue. I couldn't find a cloud. It was sunny but the air was slightly cool and it was quiet. And it reminded me of a time in my life that wasn't so great.
Let me explain. Some of you (or most of you) know that about 6 years ago, I had an event. I don't need to go into specifics, but lets just say I was fed up with my life. So I quit my job at USA TODAY and left the state. Rather suddenly, I might add. I gave my two weeks notice, worked it less one day and when I was done, I packed my stuff and went to Indianapolis to stay with my old college roomie, Donna at her brother Dale's house. He had a house in the cute development south of the city. It had starter style homes, retirement condos, lovely single family homes and a golf course. Donna got me a job driving the beer cart at that golf course. This was right around the beginning of September and the weather was much like it has been here of late.
And I was heartbroken. And, I was lonely, and I was sad. I had left my job, my family, and everything familiar. But I knew I needed this sabbatical. So I started my job driving the beer cart. But of course, it was only part time so I had a lot of spare time on my hands.
Donna's brother Dale had this chocolate lab named Buster (RIP dear Buster). And we spent a lot of time together. I walked that dog all over the neighborhood. And I would take my journal and stop by the pond and write. And Buster would just sit there and wait for me. I spent hours walking around that neighborhood with Buster. It got to where he would get so excited if I even touched my running shoes. He became my best friend. It was the first time I had ever developed such a bond with a dog.
Which brings me to why today's walk reminded me of then. Do you know what I used to think about when I would walk around the neighborhood with Buster? I would look at all those beautiful homes and feel positively empty. I would just ache because that was exactly what I wanted. I wanted to love someone and be loved. I wanted to be fulfilled and at that particular point in my life, I couldn't have felt less fulfilled and I couldn't have felt more alone. I would walk and think about how I wanted to have one of those houses and the family that was inside of it.
I try very hard in my life now to be happy with what I have. And today, being reminded of how bad it was, reminded of good it is now. I was walking around my neighborhood, with my dog, and my husband was at home waiting for me. And when I walk in the door of my beautiful home, he kisses me and tells me how much he loves me. That it was so sour then, makes it all the more sweet now.
5 comments:
I can not tell you how worried I was about you at that time. I was worried sick.
To feel as bad as you did, and to want the things you wanted, must have been like salt in the wound, to be there. Although, no one could really help you... here.
Thank god for Buster. He was your rock when you needed someone most.
Always know that I am eternally grateful to have you as my friend. We share a very tight/close bond because we have known each other much longer than we have not known each other.
You deserve the best Mel, and right now... you've got it.
Namaste.
Sometimes you really have to look at your past and see that there were times that might not have been so great...it really makes you value the times that turn out to be fantastic! As Val said I am grateful to call you my friend!
I have known you since I was 15 and I hope to know you still when I am 95! You helped me get through the worst times that I had and for that I owe you my life!
Awww, thanks girls. I am so glad to have good girlfriends in my life. Even if I do only see you a few times a year or less. Great friends is another thing I have to be thankful for and that is one thing thats been there through the years.
PS Mandy - I was 13 when we met!
OMG...were we really that young?? AAAAUUUUGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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