Thursday, May 27, 2010

Dear People on the Fringes of my Life

Dear Mail Carrier,

I appreciate your delivering of my mail every day (except Sundays and Holidays and while we are on the subject why do I have to work Presidents Day and MLK day when you do not?). And I also appreciate the fact that it is possible that some folks do not keep the area surrounding their mailbox in good shape. However, my mailbox is unblocked and there is nothing keeping you from pulling right up next to it. So, would it be possible that you not hurl my mail in such a way that it is thrust all the way to the far back of the mailbox? I drive a tiny Chevy Malibu and even though I have very long limbs, it is nearly impossible for me to reach the mail from my vehicle unless I hang halfway out the window and even then one piece of mail inevitably falls out of the stack and onto the ground where the wind picks it up and carries it halfway across the neighborhood. Thanks.

Dear Parent of other teenager in the Neighborhood,

When our kids have a verbal conflict, could you please pick up the phone and call me first to discuss before you call the State Police? I promise you that 99.9% of the time we will resolve the conflict on our own. I really don’t appreciate having a 7 foot tall police officer ringing my doorbell during dinner. Thanks.

Dear 4th grade Teacher,

I got your e-mail with the link to the United States 50 States quiz and I took it myself to see if I am smarter than a 4th grader. It turns out that I am not as I made silly mistakes like mixing up Arizona and New Mexico. I also could not remember where Iowa, New Hampshire, Connecticut and Massachusetts were (and I could not spell Massachusetts if my life depended on it). I promise you that I will keep studying and so will my 4th grader. We are a family eager to learn. Thanks.


Yours Truly,

Melanie

PS if any of you want to try out your United States States skills, click here.

6 comments:

Miralee said...

Hey...
I did the quiZ and I got 126 out of 150...

Melanie said...

That's funny. That is the exact same score I got. I thought I would do better though.

The Nut House... said...

LOL!!!!!!! What is with people these days? I will say that I am super appreciative of our mail carrier. Rain or shine, tornadic (is that even a word?) weather or lightening... he is there. Love our guy.

And the State Police? OMG Seriously?? People are such wimps these days. WTF.

The Nut House... said...

Tap, tap, tap... is this thing on?

Joyous JRo said...

Dear Person Who is Renting My House,

It's called a rental for a reason. If I wanted to fix every little knook and cranny, it would be on the market for sale or I would have done it for myself while I lived there. You are getting a fabulous deal on a beautiful home, so keep that in mind when you email me every other day asking me for irrational items like lawn fertilization service. It's going to be a long 4 years of a rental agreement if you continue this way!

<Sorry, had to rant somewhere as my husband is getting sick of hearing me complain about it)

Joyous JRo said...

Please tell me you're not busy writing your eulogy for this blog!