So it turns out that I had the flu. That might be why I was feeling so tired or maybe because I was so tired is why I got the flu. Anyway, this was the worst flu I have had in years. I was actually running a fever and I'm sure I haven't had a fever since I was 12. This flu included the twin joys of the shivering chills and burning up hot flashes, as well as a crippling headache and the seal cough. Oh the joys of having kiddies in the house. I know they brought this home to me.
I had scheduled Friday off as a vacation day, but ended up spending it on the couch. Becca, was feeling back to normal and of course she couldn't understand why I didn't want to play with and entertain her. (The kids are on winter break and didn't have school Friday)
Thankfully, Annie (the original version with Carol Burnett) was one of the free movies being offered On Demand and she had never seen it. I put that on and she was happy and I could lay in misery without interruption for a couple hours. Then her "real" mother came to get her for the weekend and Dave came home from work feeling just as crappy and we spent the rest of the weekend in misery together.
But what I really want to talk about is work and why I think that my getting this flu is just a symptom of my exasperation and exhaustion associated with my "job". I put that in quotes because I think that my employer thinks it should instead be called my "life".
What started all this crap was a conversation I had with my boss about two weeks ago that has been nagging at me and I have been obsessing about ever since. Basically, what happened was that we had a meeting with one of my subordinates that took a lot longer than planned. By that I mean it was scheduled for two hours and it lasted about 8. So around 4:30 we are sitting in the conference room and he (my boss) and he (my subordinate) are dicking around checking their e-mails and some other shit and I am getting ancy because we have not even gotten to the meat of what we are supposed to be talking about.
And so I kind of snapped and said, "Look what are we doing here? Let's go over this stuff because I can't stay here all night."
And my boss said, "Why? Why can't you stay here all night? I stay here all night."
And that is where I break down and cease being able to verbalize this shit. I think it would take me a month of posts to unload everything from my brain into print.
In a nutshell, I work with all men. They all have wives who stay home or only work outside the home part time. They are in that office every second of every day. In fact, sometimes it seems like a competition. They like to talk about it like they are sharing war stories.
“Hey, I was here until midnight last night.”
“Yeah? Well I was in here on Saturday for 12 hours.”
And on and on and on it goes. If I am leaving at 5, they call me part-timer. I hate it. It makes me really mad.
I feel inadequate. I have never felt that way at a job before. But most of the time I brush it off. I use sarcasm which has always been my friend. When they make comments about me leaving “early” I ask them what they are planning to make for dinner. That usually shuts them up or solicits some sort of mumbled answer about how they cook on the weekends (yeah right).
But of late, I have noticed myself spending more time at work and less time at home. Even if I’m doing personal stuff at work, I’m there so they can see that I’m there. I leave my house at 6:50 every morning and usually am not home until 6:00 or later that evening. I feel compelled to check my e-mail at night. It's been bothering me for a while and the conversation with my boss is what pushed me over the edge. So they really think that I'm not working enough, huh?
I feel control slipping away. I feel trapped. The money is good, I don’t have to clip coupons to grocery shop (which is a good thing because I wouldn’t have time to anyway). [Side note: If I work the hours those guys are working then the money really isn’t all that good. Then I’m making .72 cents an hours] The economy sucks; everyone knows there are no jobs out there so I should be thankful that I have this one, right? I mean why am I being such a whiner, shouldn't’t I buck up and do what has to be done? I am good at my job. I feel like the fight is in my mind. It isn’t that I don’t want to work at all, I just want to have time to have a life.
Is it different for my colleagues because they are men? Don’t they want to see their kids or spouses? Do they feel as trapped as I do, but deal with it differently because of their gender or is it that they don’t want to go home?
I told Dave yesterday that I feel like a slave. I want to have a baby, but I don’t think my body is going to allow me to get pregnant when I am this stressed out. It does not seem conducive to conception or a healthy pregnancy, does it?
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
I. am. so. tired.
I want to blog about work and the machine men I work with, but every time I try to write about it, I get overwhelmed and erase everything I type.
The short version is that if I don't work 75 hours a week then I am a bad employee.
The long version is a lot longer than that.
On a happy note, my auger showed up today. I'm only minutes away from having ice in my glass again that has not been touched by human hands.
I want to blog about work and the machine men I work with, but every time I try to write about it, I get overwhelmed and erase everything I type.
The short version is that if I don't work 75 hours a week then I am a bad employee.
The long version is a lot longer than that.
On a happy note, my auger showed up today. I'm only minutes away from having ice in my glass again that has not been touched by human hands.
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Appliance News
I got a new vacuum cleaner last night. I really loved my old vacuum cleaner, it was a Kenmore canister vac that I bought when I moved into my condo. But, alas, she was getting old and didn't seem to be sucking like she used to and Dave was starting to complain about his allergies more and more and I couldn't take it anymore so I went to Target last night and bought a new one (yes, that is what I do on Saturday nights. I go to Target. It's very exciting shut up.)
The new vac is a bagless cyclone so you can see the dirt and hair that it is sucking up. Oh Lord. I came home and vacuumed the living room carpet and the couches and now I know why Dave has been complaining about his allergies. The new Queen of my Double Wide Trailer sucked up about 6 lbs of junk, most of which was dog and cat hair. It was disgusting and I'm in love with my new vacuum. Plus it has purple on it so maybe I can sucker Becca into vacuuming with it. That will work for me at least once! I would also like to mention that I did not find 1 goldfish cracker or Scooby snack in the couch this time so I have to give a shout out to my kids for following the rules and not eating in the living room when I am not home. Or they are just getting better at hiding with when they do.
In other appliance news, I just spent $60 on the GE website ordering a new auger for my ice maker because I broke the one we have and now you can't get ice out through the trap door in the front which means you have to open it and put your grubby little hands into the ice to get some for your drink (you know who you are grubby hands). So how did I break the auger you ask? I think I teased you about this a while back and then forgot to tell you about it.
It was one weekend a few months (well probably about 6-8 months back) when I took Dave with me to do the grocery shopping which meant that we ended up buying a bunch of stuff that wasn't on my list and included a bag of frozen breaded smelt. When I got home and put the groceries away, the freezer was really full and I set the bag of frozen smelt on top of the ice maker because there was no where else to put it.
Now obviously (obviously) I do not eat frozen breaded smelt and so when the ice started to get low and the smelt bag fell into the bottom of the ice maker, I did not notice that it was missing. And then when little pieces of unidentified junk started showing up in the ice that came out of the ice maker, I had no idea what was going on and told Dave that something was wrong with the gd ice maker and could he look at it.
He was really happy when he looked in there and found his bag of frozen breaded smelt shredded along with little pieces of plastic which were the auger.
I'm still trying to live that one down.
The new vac is a bagless cyclone so you can see the dirt and hair that it is sucking up. Oh Lord. I came home and vacuumed the living room carpet and the couches and now I know why Dave has been complaining about his allergies. The new Queen of my Double Wide Trailer sucked up about 6 lbs of junk, most of which was dog and cat hair. It was disgusting and I'm in love with my new vacuum. Plus it has purple on it so maybe I can sucker Becca into vacuuming with it. That will work for me at least once! I would also like to mention that I did not find 1 goldfish cracker or Scooby snack in the couch this time so I have to give a shout out to my kids for following the rules and not eating in the living room when I am not home. Or they are just getting better at hiding with when they do.
In other appliance news, I just spent $60 on the GE website ordering a new auger for my ice maker because I broke the one we have and now you can't get ice out through the trap door in the front which means you have to open it and put your grubby little hands into the ice to get some for your drink (you know who you are grubby hands). So how did I break the auger you ask? I think I teased you about this a while back and then forgot to tell you about it.
It was one weekend a few months (well probably about 6-8 months back) when I took Dave with me to do the grocery shopping which meant that we ended up buying a bunch of stuff that wasn't on my list and included a bag of frozen breaded smelt. When I got home and put the groceries away, the freezer was really full and I set the bag of frozen smelt on top of the ice maker because there was no where else to put it.
Now obviously (obviously) I do not eat frozen breaded smelt and so when the ice started to get low and the smelt bag fell into the bottom of the ice maker, I did not notice that it was missing. And then when little pieces of unidentified junk started showing up in the ice that came out of the ice maker, I had no idea what was going on and told Dave that something was wrong with the gd ice maker and could he look at it.
He was really happy when he looked in there and found his bag of frozen breaded smelt shredded along with little pieces of plastic which were the auger.
I'm still trying to live that one down.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Hats Off
My hat is off to Tom Daschle for doing the right thing by taking himself out of the running for the director of the Health and Human Services department.
A leader cannot lead if he is up to his eyeballs in controversy And a true leader is more concerned about the well-being of his people than himself. Unlike, someone else who I won't name that let his scandal drag on for a year to the detriment to his city, Tom Daschle showed some real class by bowing out even though he probably would have been confirmed.
I'm impressed.
Now for all you hooligans who publicly supported him saying that this was just all a mistake and misunderstanding, thanks for reinforcing my opinion that Washington DC is full of good old boys who would do anything to stay in the good graces of their party.
Buttheads.
A leader cannot lead if he is up to his eyeballs in controversy And a true leader is more concerned about the well-being of his people than himself. Unlike, someone else who I won't name that let his scandal drag on for a year to the detriment to his city, Tom Daschle showed some real class by bowing out even though he probably would have been confirmed.
I'm impressed.
Now for all you hooligans who publicly supported him saying that this was just all a mistake and misunderstanding, thanks for reinforcing my opinion that Washington DC is full of good old boys who would do anything to stay in the good graces of their party.
Buttheads.
Monday, February 2, 2009
These are the things I'm thinking about today.
My apologies, I did not sit down with the intent to write a post about any sort of politics, it just sort of evolved into that. But the more I think about this, the more I am mad about it. So I figured I'd let it rip......I'll try to be funny and witty again tomorrow.
Tom Daschle and Michael Phelps.
Let's start with Tom Daschle. Oops I forgot to pay my taxes? I want to know if that excuse would fly for me if I lied about my taxes. I mean, I would be sorry and embarrassed too, so would that make it okay? What if I just "forgot" to show up for work for a couple weeks? As long as I was sorry and promised to make it up by working double shifts, would they not fire me? Would I be deserving of a promotion?
And Michael Phelps. How stupid are you to let someone take your picture smoking a bong? But don't worry, you're still a cash cow so none of your endorsement deals will be cancelled. As long as you have lots of money, no one cares what you do. Of course, even stupider (it's a word okay?) would be to go and get fat like Jessica Simpson. Then you would lose your endorsement deals.
Okay, so as I'm writing this, I realize I am less concerned about Michael Phelps and his stupid bong and I want to talk about Tom Daschle. Well, all politicians, really. And I'm sorry for you Bill Clinton lovers, but I'm going to rip on him in a second. Am I the only one who is sick and freaking tired of our politicians being liars, cheats and sexual deviants? Let's see, Bill Clinton was getting blow jobs in the Oval Office from an INTERN, then there was Larry Craig cruising the bathroom for some gay sex, and Eliot Spizter banging high class hookers, and what's his face sending sex text messages to a 16 year old boy, and what's his face, I can't even remember his name, who was married to a woman but having anonymous gay sex at rest stops or sex clubs or something like that, and the mayor of Detroit using his city pager to send steamy sex text messages to his Chief of Staff while he was married and then using city money and resources to cover it up and there are probably 12 more I'm not thinking of. Oh! The mayor Portland who was getting it on with one of his male interns and then lied about it. Am I mistaken or is having sex with a subordinate not where the birth of sexual harassment occurred? Is no one else sick of this? I can't even have the news on in our house without feeling like I should shoo the kids out of the room because it's a sex scandal story and then a gruesome murder story and then another sex scandal story and another gruesome murder story. Over and over and over again.
Sexual deviants aside, what about the tax evaders? Tom Daschle is the second one I've heard in the news of late. Why is this okay? I'm sure he'll go on to be confirmed to be Health Secretary or whatever it is. Right, because he's sorry. Oh, and it was unintentional. Does it matter what his intentions were? HE DIDN'T"T PAY HIS TAXES. Let's give him a job overseeing one of the biggest cluster bleeps this country has ever seen, health care. Are you telling me there isn't someone else who is qualified that has paid all his taxes, the first time around?
Whatever happened to, "Don't do the crime if you can't do the time?"
These are our politicians. They are the people who make the laws, but they can't follow them? They can't be faithful to one person or follow the laws regarding not having sex with a minor? Why is this okay? Doesn't this speak to a person's moral compass? Shouldn't they be the people who are held to the highest standards and beyond reproach? Piss on this. I'm so disgusted. This is why I hate politics. This is why I hate politicians. And if President Obama is serious about having a transparent administration, then he should make an example of these a-holes and nominate someone else.
I hold my kids to a higher standard than these guys are and they don't have anyone else's interests at heart.
Tom Daschle and Michael Phelps.
Let's start with Tom Daschle. Oops I forgot to pay my taxes? I want to know if that excuse would fly for me if I lied about my taxes. I mean, I would be sorry and embarrassed too, so would that make it okay? What if I just "forgot" to show up for work for a couple weeks? As long as I was sorry and promised to make it up by working double shifts, would they not fire me? Would I be deserving of a promotion?
And Michael Phelps. How stupid are you to let someone take your picture smoking a bong? But don't worry, you're still a cash cow so none of your endorsement deals will be cancelled. As long as you have lots of money, no one cares what you do. Of course, even stupider (it's a word okay?) would be to go and get fat like Jessica Simpson. Then you would lose your endorsement deals.
Okay, so as I'm writing this, I realize I am less concerned about Michael Phelps and his stupid bong and I want to talk about Tom Daschle. Well, all politicians, really. And I'm sorry for you Bill Clinton lovers, but I'm going to rip on him in a second. Am I the only one who is sick and freaking tired of our politicians being liars, cheats and sexual deviants? Let's see, Bill Clinton was getting blow jobs in the Oval Office from an INTERN, then there was Larry Craig cruising the bathroom for some gay sex, and Eliot Spizter banging high class hookers, and what's his face sending sex text messages to a 16 year old boy, and what's his face, I can't even remember his name, who was married to a woman but having anonymous gay sex at rest stops or sex clubs or something like that, and the mayor of Detroit using his city pager to send steamy sex text messages to his Chief of Staff while he was married and then using city money and resources to cover it up and there are probably 12 more I'm not thinking of. Oh! The mayor Portland who was getting it on with one of his male interns and then lied about it. Am I mistaken or is having sex with a subordinate not where the birth of sexual harassment occurred? Is no one else sick of this? I can't even have the news on in our house without feeling like I should shoo the kids out of the room because it's a sex scandal story and then a gruesome murder story and then another sex scandal story and another gruesome murder story. Over and over and over again.
Sexual deviants aside, what about the tax evaders? Tom Daschle is the second one I've heard in the news of late. Why is this okay? I'm sure he'll go on to be confirmed to be Health Secretary or whatever it is. Right, because he's sorry. Oh, and it was unintentional. Does it matter what his intentions were? HE DIDN'T"T PAY HIS TAXES. Let's give him a job overseeing one of the biggest cluster bleeps this country has ever seen, health care. Are you telling me there isn't someone else who is qualified that has paid all his taxes, the first time around?
Whatever happened to, "Don't do the crime if you can't do the time?"
These are our politicians. They are the people who make the laws, but they can't follow them? They can't be faithful to one person or follow the laws regarding not having sex with a minor? Why is this okay? Doesn't this speak to a person's moral compass? Shouldn't they be the people who are held to the highest standards and beyond reproach? Piss on this. I'm so disgusted. This is why I hate politics. This is why I hate politicians. And if President Obama is serious about having a transparent administration, then he should make an example of these a-holes and nominate someone else.
I hold my kids to a higher standard than these guys are and they don't have anyone else's interests at heart.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Friday, January 30, 2009
Another Customer Service Rant
Okay, first of all I have been eating soooo bad the past week or so. Let's just establish that before I go any further in this post. I have to admit that other than last night, my family has eaten out every night this week. I'm ashamed to admit it but it's true. I blame winter and let's just leave it at that.
Now, on to my rant.
I left the relative warmth of my office today to run up to Arby's and grab some grub. It is one of the few places around here that has a drive through and while fast food is not at the top of my list, probably because of all the other crap I've been eating this week that is full of high fructose corn syrup and hydrogenated shortening that makes you crave more junk food, sounded good. So I go to the drive through and order a beef 'n cheddar, get my order and come back to the office.
I just down at my desk with my sandwich, my space heater is blaring and my toes are starting to warm back up and I just opened the sandwich.
It was made with two butt pieces of the bun. You know how the beef 'n cheddar comes on a nice fat onion bun? Not this one. It's two butt pieces with not one piece of onion on it. Then when I took it apart the roast beef is crusty. Like either it sat out under the heat lamp for 3 days or it was the butt end of the roast beef. And, on top of that, it smells kind of gross. I'm so grossed out right now that I want to take the sandwich back to Arby's and bitch them out. I mean really, what would posses a person to make a sandwich with two butt pieces of bread? But, I'm torn, because it's freezing outside, and it's 12:30 which means there will be 1,000 peeps in line and it's freezing outside.
So the sandwich is sitting here in the bag on my desk. And I'm not sure what to do with it.
Now, on to my rant.
I left the relative warmth of my office today to run up to Arby's and grab some grub. It is one of the few places around here that has a drive through and while fast food is not at the top of my list, probably because of all the other crap I've been eating this week that is full of high fructose corn syrup and hydrogenated shortening that makes you crave more junk food, sounded good. So I go to the drive through and order a beef 'n cheddar, get my order and come back to the office.
I just down at my desk with my sandwich, my space heater is blaring and my toes are starting to warm back up and I just opened the sandwich.
It was made with two butt pieces of the bun. You know how the beef 'n cheddar comes on a nice fat onion bun? Not this one. It's two butt pieces with not one piece of onion on it. Then when I took it apart the roast beef is crusty. Like either it sat out under the heat lamp for 3 days or it was the butt end of the roast beef. And, on top of that, it smells kind of gross. I'm so grossed out right now that I want to take the sandwich back to Arby's and bitch them out. I mean really, what would posses a person to make a sandwich with two butt pieces of bread? But, I'm torn, because it's freezing outside, and it's 12:30 which means there will be 1,000 peeps in line and it's freezing outside.
So the sandwich is sitting here in the bag on my desk. And I'm not sure what to do with it.
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