Words of Caution

Let's just say that you are a person who hates winter. And let's just say that when winter comes and the daylight hours are short and it's dark when you leave for work and dark when you come home and you really don't like your job very much and want to quit it to start having babies and when you do finally drag your sorry ass home after a long day at said hated job and it is dark (as mentioned above) all you want to do is put on some sweatpants and woolly socks and lay on the couch under a blanket until bedtime. Should I also mention that you had a $280 gas bill in December so you are trying not to turn the heat up as high which pushes you even harder toward the couch?

Let's just say you are that person and you find yourself, in late January, not having engaged in any sort of cardiovascular exercise since there were still leaves on the trees in your front yard. Oh, and I should also tell you that your yoga teacher, who you adored, moved her yoga studio to Ann Arbor and therefore you have been unable to engage in the one physical activity that you really do enjoy for ONE YEAR and a couple months.

So if you are this person, and I'm not mentioning any names, but if you are this person, let me give you some words of caution. If you find yourself in a PMS rage one Saturday when your family is away at the movies and you should be enjoying having the quiet house to yourself but you can't relax because you want to take a chair and throw it through the window in hopes of possibly alleviating some of the PMS rage, oh and you want to strangle your husband because he had a Carnation instant breakfast shake (that has MILK in it) in your favorite sport bottle and then left it sealed up in car for a week so that when you opened it to wash it, the smell of sour milk almost killed you. Do not, I repeat, do not spend an entire hour on the treadmill trying to run off the PMS rage.

You will not be able to walk the next day.

more random thoughts on my drive into work

Why did Drew have to leave the Drew and Mike show? I can't deal with just Mike and this has forced me to start listening to XM Talk Radio on the way to work which results in me being way more informed about politics than I ever wanted to be and as a direct result of that, I have become very negative and convinced that world is going to end soon.

Julia Roberts made her name by playing the "hooker with the heart of gold", why did I like the movie Pretty Woman so much? And what the heck is Julia Roberts doing now? Hmmm, I kind of want to watch Pretty Woman now. Do I have that movie on DVD? I might only have it on VHS. I'm going to have to check when I get home tonight. I know it by heart, I could probably just recite it to myself for entertainment. "Could I get a word other than fine?" "Asshole. There's a word" Oh Lord, I could go on all day with those. I'll spare you.

What is the difference between Communism and Socialism? I thought I knew this, but now I'm not sure. I'll have to research that a little so I can be more informed about politics and feel even worse about the state of things.

I should have gotten a Venti latte instead of a Grande. I don't think this is going to be enough caffeine.

"Bullshit! It's the kill you love! I made you a very rich man doing exactly what you love!" Sorry, I've got Pretty Woman on the brain now.

I wonder if the squirrels will be in the tree again today.

Am I ever going to get the dog poop stains out of the carpet and how much would it cost me to get all the carpet ripped out of the house and replaced with wood floors?

Balls, I'm here.

Short

My day started off cleaning dog poop (and I mean runny poop) off the carpet. That was at 6 am after I had was woken by an insomniac husband from 3:30-4:45 and after I had taken a shower.

Amazingly this was not really the worst event of the day. My team at work dropped the ball majorly on a customer and while not directly my fault, I am their leader and therefore responsible.

I don't think the dog poop stain is coming off the carpet.

Ugh. Calgon take me away!

my random thoughts on the drive into work today

Question: Why do I like jeans so much? Answer: They don't need to be ironed. Or dry-cleaned.

One of the best movie lines ever is from LA Confidential. The Kim Basinger Veronica Lake Hooker character says to the Guy Pierce cop character, "Some men get the world. Others get ex-hookers and a trip to Arizona."

Why didn't I get tickets to the Inaugural Ball?

Oh shit, I need gas.

LA Confidential is an awesome movie. I love movies set in 50's Hollywood. Except for The Black Dahlia. That movie sucked. Bad.

Should I have a baby?

Hmmm, Beck Road is icy again. Maybe it could snow some more. Oh God, It's only January 19 there could be 2-3 months more of this weather and we don't have a vacation planned this year.

I wouldn't really have anything to wear to the Inaugural Ball.

Balls. I'm here.

I want you to know that I now have another smoke detector chirping in my house. This would be the third one since Friday. And while we went to the store with 9volt batteries on our list but could not find them in our newly remodeled and rearranged Meijer. So we forgot. Until just now.

We are sitting on the couch, Dave is reading, I was surfing, the kids are spending the night at their granny's because they don't have school tomorrow. It's our quiet wind down time and then,

Chirp (my battery is dying)

Dave starts looking for the ladder as I frantically start pawing through the junk drawer in hopes of finding a forgotten 9volt battery buried in the rubble. Which I did not find.

Chirp (if your house burns downs, I won't work, but I can still chirp)
Chirp.

That smoke detector is currently wrapped in a towel in a box in our garage and covered with one of the kids pairs of snow pants. His brother across the hall is also wrapped in a towel in the box. Guilt by association.

Tomorrow I'll tell you a tale that begins with a bag of frozen smelt and ends with a broken ice maker.

Phoebe and the Fire Alarm

This was us a few weeks ago. I wanted to post this then, but I couldn't find the full clip on YouTube. However, I got home from work a few minutes ago and the smoke detector in the spare bedroom is now beeping. I thought we replaced the batteries in all of them when this happened. So I dragged the ladder up from the basement all the way up to the second floor and replaced the battery.

It's still beeping. Does that mean it won't detect smoke, but it can still beep every 45 seconds to warn us that it can't detect smoke anymore?

Okay, So I will tell you this one work story

It's pretty not work related so, I guess I can share it.

Yesterday I walked into this "guys" office. He was in there working with another "guy". Let's call them Hector and Achillies. Why not? It's my story. Now I can be entertained when I see them at work tomorrow.

Anyway, It's Hector's office, but Achillies has his laptop set up in there and he has this really nifty power supply. I'm instantly drawn to it because it's small. Perfect size to fit in my new Christmas present laptop bag that is awesome but won't fit a lot of stuff. I've been actually going sans power supply and that hasn't been working out so well. So I say to Achillies, "Sweet power supply. Where'd you get that!?" And he says, "You want it, take it."

Pause.

First of all Achillies is usually an asshole and likes to keep the good stuff for himself, so I find this strange. Second of all, I'm puzzled. Am I supposed to say, "Cool, thanks!" and then rip the power supply that is currently plugged into his laptop, out of his laptop and take off with it? I did not know how to proceed. It was weird.

And he told me to take it twice. Double weird.

Then I looked down where the power supply was laying and I saw this cheap little black tote bag laying there next to it. Maybe he thought I was talking about the cheap little tote bag (which if I had turned it over, probably had my company logo on it. Something we call a schmoogie). Even though I said specifically the power supply was small and cool. Perhaps he really wasn't listening to me.

Yeah, that explanation makes much more sense. I think.